Monster From The Future - Time Loop SCP

Summary:

is found to be from the future causes timeloop

Monster From The Future - Time Loop SCP

Rads1685 05 Jan 2020 13:50

Monster Contained by the foundation is found to be from the future causes timeloop.

I trimmed your thread summary above, since it was taking up a lot of space on the forum listing. Try to keep thread descriptions and titles under 7 lines so you don't visually crowd out other people's threads. ~Zyn

So as of right now I have a concept I'd like to develop. Based on some concept art I did on my own personal deviantart. It's a monster manual entry but I'm looking to develop a narrative through a bit of back story with a twist.

The monster: The is a quadrupedal creature with two sharp limbs coming off it's back a sharp fin extruding off the back of it's head and a stale to stab people with all the fun stuff. The monster has a detachable star fish like entity on it's back with a central eye. If the eye is viewed directly by a human it will trigger a cognitohazard that allows the eye to terminate the human then reproduce it into a copy of the original monster.

The creature came in through a warp in space time from a post apocalyptic future. Eventually the creature breached containment and ended the world and that is what caused the post apocalyptic future. It's basically a time loop.

All of story is told through entry logs and addendums. It might be difficult for me to pull off but I want to give it a crack. I'm open to any feedback.

Last edited on 05 Jan 2020 19:28 by Zyn Show more

Re: Monster From The Future - Time Loop SCP

Doctor Fullham 05 Jan 2020 17:37

I'm you...

It's a monster manual entry but I'm looking to develop a narrative through a bit of back story with a twist.

All of story is told through entry logs and addendums.

You've admitted that what you have now is a monster manual entry, but haven't really given any indication of what's going to make it more than that. You have the concept that you need a story, and how you plan to tell it - what is the story, though? A story is more than just a series of events; there needs to be something to evoke emotion from the reader. What feeling do you want to evoke from the reader? Horror? Empathy? Sadness? You need to create a narrative around this being.

If it's just a time looping thing, how does anyone find out that that's what's going on? Time travel is a tricky topic for even experienced writers to work with because there are so many paradoxes and contingencies to consider. So far you have the what, but none of the how or why:

How does the Foundation learn of this creature?
How do they contain it?
How does it end the world? It sounds powerful-ish but nothing that say, MTF Tau-5 Samsara couldn't handle.
Why does it exist?
Why does it do what it does?

I recommend reading several items on the Guide Hub:

How to Write an SCP

Things What Do a Thing: An Essay On Anomalies That Are Things That Do A Thing

Essay Regarding SCPs, Narratives, and How They Can Share a Page

There are other guides there that can be very helpful, but these are some of the most often recommended for first-time contributors.

General Notes

I also recommend reading a significant amount of the top-rated SCPs from the last several months, and focus on reading more recent SCPs rather than older series. Many early series SCPs would not last a day under current SCP standards, and a few are only still around because of their history with the wiki itself. (This does not apply to all early series SCPs, but many of these were written before the wiki's style had really been cemented.)

I am not saying this to discourage you, I just want you to understand the amount of effort that goes into creating a successful SCP.

If you can revise this idea with what story you want to tell, we will be able to give you much more meaningful and constructive critique.

The anomalous item is the vehicle, the narrative is the person driving, the readers are the passengers. You can have the shiniest, most polished, most interesting vehicle in the world, but without the driver, the passengers aren't going anywhere. Where is the narrative taking the readers, and how is it getting them there?

Last edited on 05 Jan 2020 21:48 by Doctor Fullham Show more

Re: Monster From The Future - Time Loop SCP

Rads1685 06 Jan 2020 10:31

Alright looks like I'm going to have to write it in order to get the story critiqued.

Last edited on 06 Jan 2020 10:45 by Rads1685 Show more