SCP Idea (The Drainer)

SCP Idea (The Drainer)

Dr Karren 04 Jan 2020 17:49

I might have an idea for an SCP if it hasn't been taken already.

This SCP is a shaped similarly to a humanoid that can absorb anything in a █ meter radius (yes, I did block the number on the sandbox page) and anything it comes into contact with. It can absorb organic and inorganic matter and the more it absorbs, the larger it becomes depending on the size of the object. Anyone in a 3 kilometer radius will feel sick and have the feeling of being watched, anyone in a 2 kilometer radius will actually become sick, and anyone in a 1 kilometer radius will immediately pass out and somehow the SCP can locate them and absorb their bodies. This SCP is believed to have created popular natural landmarks such as the Great Blue Hole of Belize. This SCP is mostly made of humans, tar, squids, fish, plants, sand, poaceae, metal, stone, and dead trees (The items listed above will be translated to their scientific names when writing. I just put in regular names so the person looking at this can understand it better). There a antlers on top of this SCPs head similar to a deers' (The scientific name for deer will be used as well). This SCP is sentient and has no recorded evidence of it trying to communicate intelligently. This SCP has not communicated with any form of living organic life.

This SCP stands approximately 5 meters in length and stands on 2 legs that are roughly 2.5 meters in length. This SCP has shown to not talk but has made a hissing sound before. This SCP appears to have no eyes but seems to have a strong sense of direction and its surroundings. This SCP is contained by a fence made of copper, iron, and sulfur and is approximately 1.5 (one point five) square kilometers and is located . The Foundation releases a vapor that can damage SCP-XXXX's senses hence causing the SCP to move less. The area is built over deep water so when it absorbs the water, the water will fill back up making it difficult for the SCP to escape. The location of this SCP is located in the Southern █████ Ocean, 2.7 kilometers away from Area-██ thought this SCP containment is located far from Area-██ it is still considered part of of Area-██.

Last edited on 05 Jan 2020 21:43 by Dr Karren Show more

Re: SCP Idea (The Drainer)

Doctor Fullham 04 Jan 2020 18:53

What shape is the creature? Is it just a big amorphous mass? How is the Foundation containing this thing? How is its spread being halted or impeded? A kilometer radius of making any person pass out is a huge effect area. What is The Foundation doing to prevent people from noticing this thing? Is it sapient (human-level intelligence) or just sentient (animal-level intelligence)? Does it absorb anything, any living thing, or any intelligent thing? You have the anomaly but you have no information about how the Foundation is Securing it, Containing it, or Protecting people from it.

An SCP article is much more than simply an anomalous item, being, place, or event. The true meat of the SCP is the story around the anomalous thing. The thing itself is a vehicle that the narrative is attached to. To give my best example from Series 1, look at SCP 093: The anomalous item itself is a rock that turns mirrors into interdimensional portals. The thing that makes this SCP shine is the story; the history of the dimension that it leads to.

I recommend reading several items on the Guide Hub:

How to Write an SCP

Things What Do a Thing: An Essay On Anomalies That Are Things That Do A Thing

Essay Regarding SCPs, Narratives, and How They Can Share a Page

There are other guides there that can be very helpful, but these are some of the most often recommended for first-time contributors.

General Notes

We need to know more than just "it's a creature that absorbs things." What story are you going to tell - How The Foundation found it, Who or what created it and why, did someone use it to some end? If it is sapient, what are its motivations? Can we communicate with it? (These are not all questions that must be answered, these are some possible narrative hooks.)

I also recommend reading a significant amount of the top-rated SCPs from the last several months, and focus on reading more recent SCPs rather than older series. Many early series SCPs would not last a day under current SCP standards, and a few are only still around because of their history with the wiki itself. (This does not apply to all early series SCPs, but many of these were written before the wiki's style had really been cemented.)

The anomalous being, while important, is not actually the main focus of the SCP. A good story, a compelling narrative, something that makes the reader feel something - that is the goal of an SCP article. What feeling do you want to evoke from the reader? Horror? Empathy? Sadness? You need to create a narrative around this object and its effects.

I am not saying this to discourage you, I just want you to understand the amount of effort that goes into creating a successful SCP.

If you can revise this idea with a story that you want to tell, we will be able to give you much more meaningful and constructive critique.

The anomalous item is the vehicle, the narrative is the person driving, the readers are the passengers. You can have the shiniest, most polished, most interesting vehicle in the world, but without the driver, the passengers aren't going anywhere. Where is the narrative taking the readers, and how is it getting them there?

Re: SCP Idea (The Drainer)

Dr Karren 05 Jan 2020 22:27

I tried my best to add things that Doctor Fullham said in the post above. Thank you for this list of things to make this potential SCP better.

Last edited on 05 Jan 2020 22:29 by Dr Karren Show more

Re: SCP Idea (The Drainer)

Zyn 05 Jan 2020 22:32

It admittedly looks like you've added a lot of extraneous "what" details to your premise, which doesn't really fix the issue of there not being a narrative.

As a general note, the exact size and containment of the anomaly is effectively irrelevant at this point in the review process, unless those things are meant to be a key attention-grabbing focus of the original article (it doesn't look like that's the case here… the super-exact containment seems like a problem, not a feature. I recommend reading this guide on containment to get a feel for how to write more logical, resource-conserving procedures).

The audience of the present has seen a lot of this sort of generic monster sort of thing, so going into detail about exactly how it acts doesn't really make it much more memorable than the standard video game monster spawn. What the community tends to like to see is why this thing exists as it does, and what presence it has in the Foundation universe as a whole beyond just being yet another creepy thing the Foundation has contained.

For some examples of how you can develop your worldbuilding, consider this page: http://www.scp-wiki.net/you-already-know-what-the-fuck-is-going-on