Dr. Walock

Summary:

my Scp is a 1.6 meter humanoid entity without any visible features

Dr. Walock

Dr Walock 24 Dec 2019 04:05

my Scp is a 1.6 meter humanoid entity without any visible features. My scp has a void like appearance with multiple solar systems on his skin. My scp steals a subject's memories within a 3 meter radius. Any subject that is within 5 Meters of it gain temporary amnesia. It's anomalous properties are not permanent, although My Scp Retains the subjects memories.

I trimmed your thread summary above, since it was taking up a lot of space on the forum listing. Try to keep thread descriptions and titles under 7 lines so you don't visually crowd out other people's threads. ~Zyn

SCP ARTICLE LINK

Last edited on 24 Dec 2019 06:18 by Zyn Show more

Re: Dr. Walock

F15H35 24 Dec 2019 04:10

Author, as per the Ideas Critique forum guidelines: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1019200/how-to-use-this-forum-ideas

Please don't just link or excerpt a sandbox draft. Give us a quick explanation of the concept. We don't need to see all the complicated details that would be present in a draft; we're helping out with the core idea. Link a sandbox only as optional reading or if a reviewer asks for it

Also, please limit your concept summary to at least seven lines to ensure that other forum posts don't get pushed away from view. Take a look at other forum posts to see how your post can look like a concept summary.

Out of curiosity, what grade/level of school are you currently in? I took quick look at your idea and there seems to be lots of clinical tone errors and wrong grammar & formatting.

Last edited on 24 Dec 2019 04:15 by F15H35 Show more

Re: Dr. Walock

Doctor Fullham 24 Dec 2019 05:56

What you have currently is the "Superpowered humanoid" or "X-Man" concept. An SCP article is much more than simply an anomalous item, being, place, or event. The true meat of the SCP is the story around the anomalous thing. The thing itself is a vehicle that the narrative is attached to. To give my best example from Series 1, look at SCP 093: The anomalous item itself is a rock that turns mirrors into interdimensional portals. The thing that makes this SCP shine is the story; the history of the dimension that it leads to.

I recommend reading several items on the Guide Hub:

How to Write an SCP

Clinical Tone: Declassified

Things What Do a Thing: An Essay On Anomalies That Are Things That Do A Thing

Essay Regarding SCPs, Narratives, and How They Can Share a Page

There are other guides there that can be very helpful, but these three are some of the most often recommended for first-time contributors.

As you are pitching a humanoid SCP idea, I also recommend reading So You Want To Write A Humanoid SCP Object to assist in avoiding the "X-Men problem."

General Notes

We need to know more than just "it's a guy that can steal your memories." What story are you going to tell - How The Foundation found it, Who or what created it and why, did someone use it to some end? (These are not all questions that must be answered, these are some possible narrative hooks.)

I also recommend reading several (at least 10-20) of the top-rated SCPs from the last several months, and avoid reading series 1 SCPs for inspiration. Many series 1 SCPs would not last a day under current SCP standards, and a few are only still around because of their history with the wiki itself. (This does not apply to all series 1 SCPs, as you can see I mentioned 093 earlier, but many of these were written before the wiki's style had really been cemented.)

If you want a great example of a humanoid SCP done right, I recommend checking out Stele.

The anomalous entity, while important, is not actually the main focus of the SCP. A good story, a compelling narrative, something that makes the reader feel something - that is the goal of an SCP article. What feeling do you want to evoke from the reader? Horror? Empathy? Sadness? You need to create a narrative around this object and its effects.

I am not saying this to discourage you, I just want you to understand the amount of effort that goes into creating a successful SCP.

If you can revise this idea with a story that you want to tell, we will be able to give you much more meaningful and constructive critique.

Re: Dr. Walock

Zyn 24 Dec 2019 06:19

Author, out of curiosity, what grade are you currently in at school? Most successful SCP authors have at least some college-level writing experience, since clinical tone is typically covered in college. If you haven’t encountered clinical tone or writing analytical essays in school yet, it can be hard to write an article that possesses the unique "flash fiction as written by a professional scientist" tone the site audience is looking for. If you tell us where you are academically, we can recommend some materials you can study up on, such as these college resources for clinical tone:
http://www.aje.com/en/arc/editing-tip-maintaining-formal-tone-scientific-writing/
http://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/scholarlyvoice/tone
https://healthcare.utah.edu/brand-and-style-guide/writing-guide.php
http://vrici.lojban.org/~cowan/style-revised.html