Reducing a concept's power

Reducing a concept's power

Doctor McCree 20 Dec 2019 21:08

A while ago, I came up with an idea for a story slightly similar to that of SCP-073 and SCP-076. One is an SCP with several glands in his mouth that allows him to spit a variety of substances. However, I'm here because of the second one, which has had several cybernetic implants placed into its hands and spinal chord. It can hack many sophisticated technological systems with ease by utilizing several screens that it can project and manipulate. Loosely based around Sombra's abilities from overwatch. I was told that the hacker was too strong, any idea how to weaken it? My idea was to have it working with the Serpent's Hand to sabotage the Foundation and liberate other SCPs. The containment procedures will involve what to do if he is caught. He is 16.

Any feedback is appreciated, I can elaborate if asked.

Last edited on 20 Dec 2019 21:09 by Doctor McCree Show more

Re: Reducing a concept's power

Doctor Fullham 20 Dec 2019 21:56

similar to that of SCP-073 and SCP-076.

Two very debated SCPs from series 1.

I don't know that the overall power of either entity is the issue here, although it certainly needs to be addressed. What you have currently is the "Superpowered humanoid" or "X-Man" concept. An SCP article is much more than simply an anomalous item, being, place, or event. The true meat of the SCP is the story around the anomalous thing. The thing itself is a vehicle that the narrative is attached to. To give my best example from Series 1, look at SCP 093: The anomalous item itself is a rock that turns mirrors into interdimensional portals. The thing that makes this SCP shine is the story; the history of the dimension that it leads to.

I recommend reading several items on the Guide Hub:

How to Write an SCP

Clinical Tone: Declassified

Things What Do a Thing: An Essay On Anomalies That Are Things That Do A Thing

Essay Regarding SCPs, Narratives, and How They Can Share a Page

There are other guides there that can be very helpful, but these three are some of the most often recommended for first-time contributors.

As you are pitching a humanoid SCP idea, I also recommend reading So You Want To Write A Humanoid SCP Object to assist in avoiding the "X-Men problem."

General Notes

We need to know more than just "a guy that can spit stuff" and "a guy that has cybernetics." What story are you going to tell - How The Foundation found them, Who or what created them and why, did someone use them to some end, what is their relationship? (These are not all questions that must be answered, these are some possible narrative hooks.)

I also recommend reading several (at least 10-20) of the top-rated SCPs from the last several months, and avoid reading series 1 SCPs for inspiration. Many series 1 SCPs would not last a day under current SCP standards, and a few are only still around because of their history with the wiki itself. (This does not apply to all series 1 SCPs, as you can see I mentioned 093 earlier, but many of these were written before the wiki's style had really been cemented.) Read SCP-4793 for a good, recent example of a superpowered humanoid done well.

The anomalous entity, while important, is not actually the main focus of the SCP. A good story, a compelling narrative, something that makes the reader feel something - that is the goal of an SCP article. What feeling do you want to evoke from the reader? Horror? Empathy? Sadness? You need to create a narrative around this object and its effects.

I am not saying this to discourage you, I just want you to understand the amount of effort that goes into creating a successful SCP.

If you can revise this idea with a story that you want to tell, we will be able to give you much more meaningful and constructive critique.

Re: Reducing a concept's power

Doctor McCree 21 Dec 2019 18:55

Thank you. I probably should have explained the story better. I had a rough idea that the two brothers were discovered during a raid on a Prometheus Labs experiment facility. Their parents were scientists that worked in the labs and experimented on them. The spitter, Caucasian male 13 years of age, is loyal to the ideals of the Foundation. The hacker, however, has a viewpoint similar to that of the Serpent’s Hand. He made his abilities seem weaker than they were, then promptly broke containment, being discovered by the Serpent’s Hand and recruited. During one raid on a Foundation site, spitter was fighting back against the raiders while hacker was freeing SCPs of interest to the Serpent’s Hand and trying to access the databank. The two ran into each other and started arguing, each criticizing the beliefs of the other’s group. It ends with the hacker saying ”Doesn’t everyone deserve a chance to be free, Nathan?” and hacker retreats, the raid a success. I’m still trying to figure out if I could reasonably have spitter do something to assist the Foundation.

Last edited on 21 Dec 2019 18:56 by Doctor McCree Show more