The Black Hole Hivemind

Summary:

When the Void stared back, did it do so out of hunger, or was it curiosity?

The Hivemind Researcher

DyProxus 20 Dec 2019 16:59

The object in question consists of two parts:

SCP-????-1 can appear in many ways, but on earth it chooses to appear as a short 19 year old human female, or as several identical copies of said female. Any and all instances of it can teleport into or out of any space they can reasonably fit in. Each one can generate gravitational anomalies wherever they spawn, and said anomalies become incre more powerful when several ?-1’s are in close proximity with each other.

????-2 is a cosmic intelligence that directly controls and deploys instances of ?-1 to observe and interact with the physical realm, or it can directly interface with the minds of certain life forms, including humans as long as a ?-1 is present.

The SCP is strongly driven to learn about everything it can get its hands on. Mankind has recently become the first intelligent life form its come across, so as it has not been introduced to any social norms prior, it is somewhat childish and naive. The foundation is currently working to educate the entity while studying it in turn.

While the Foundation has discovered a grand multitude of ways to harness the capabilities of such a being, researchers have come to believe that the entity’s core may lie within the center of the galaxy itself: the supermassive black hole Sagittarius-A. Now many question if this consumer of knowledge is merely looking for another world to devour and may be playing with its food. Upon intense interrogation however, the entity claims that it’s motives are something different. For what it destroys, it has opted to create with.

(New reviewers, please ignore later posts, as the concept has changed a lot over time)

Last edited on 08 Jan 2020 16:01 by DyProxus Show more

Re: SCP 4459: Schrödinger’s Hivemind

Doctor Fullham 20 Dec 2019 22:22

"Schrödinger" is a bit of a misnomer here.

"Schrodinger's Cat" is a hypothetical experiment designed to point out a flaw in the Copenhagen interpretation of superposition as it applies to quantum theory - that something is constantly existing in two states while not being observed. Just because she can only "respawn" in an unobserved place doesn't bring in any of the ideas tied to Schrödinger's Cat. Just sayin'.

FYI, it is standard practice to use "XXXX" in place of the SCP's number, because that number may not be available when/if you post this.

What you have currently is the "Superpowered humanoid" or "X-Man" concept. An SCP article is much more than simply an anomalous item, being, place, or event. The true meat of the SCP is the story around the anomalous thing. The thing itself is a vehicle that the narrative is attached to. To give my best example from Series 1, look at SCP 093: The anomalous item itself is a rock that turns mirrors into interdimensional portals. The thing that makes this SCP shine is the story; the history of the dimension that it leads to.

I recommend reading several items on the Guide Hub:

How to Write an SCP

Clinical Tone: Declassified

Things What Do a Thing: An Essay On Anomalies That Are Things That Do A Thing

Essay Regarding SCPs, Narratives, and How They Can Share a Page

There are other guides there that can be very helpful, but these three are some of the most often recommended for first-time contributors.

As you are pitching a humanoid SCP idea, I also recommend reading So You Want To Write A Humanoid SCP Object to assist in avoiding the "X-Men problem."

General Notes

We need to know more than just "a woman that respawns and can clone herself." Several superheroes exist who can make clones of themselves that they can control, and regeneration/reanimation are not uncommon abilities either. What story are you going to tell - How The Foundation found her, Who or what created her and why, did someone use her to some end, does she have her own goals, how have her abilities changed the way she views baseline humans? (These are not all questions that must be answered, these are some possible narrative hooks.)

I also recommend reading several (at least 10-20) of the top-rated SCPs from the last several months, and avoid reading series 1 SCPs for inspiration. Many series 1 SCPs would not last a day under current SCP standards, and a few are only still around because of their history with the wiki itself. (This does not apply to all series 1 SCPs, as you can see I mentioned 093 earlier, but many of these were written before the wiki's style had really been cemented.) Read SCP-4793 for a good, recent example of a superpowered humanoid done well.

The anomalous entity, while important, is not actually the main focus of the SCP. A good story, a compelling narrative, something that makes the reader feel something - that is the goal of an SCP article. What feeling do you want to evoke from the reader? Horror? Empathy? Sadness? You need to create a narrative around this object and its effects.

I am not saying this to discourage you, I just want you to understand the amount of effort that goes into creating a successful SCP.

If you can revise this idea with a story that you want to tell, we will be able to give you much more meaningful and constructive critique.

Re: SCP 4459: Schrödinger’s Hivemind

DyProxus 20 Dec 2019 23:00

It’s more like an “everywhere and nowhere” scenario as long as it remains unobserved. She’s both alive and dead as long as no one sees her. If you’ve ever seen “Hellsing Ultimate”, there’s a very similar case to this in there centered around Schrödinger’s cat.

To be honest I just picked a number that, according to the list, appeared to be vacant. So fair point.

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Trust me when I say there is explanation and story to go with this SCP, and I’ll be damned to 682’s grasp if I didn’t include that in a draft. This is merely a summary after all, a quick look of what to expect from it.

The story involving how they found her may be a little brief, but it’s mostly a story of coming to understand a cosmic entity that, for some reason, wants to try to be human. In fact, yes, people have tried to use her in some ways, including at the foundation too. People want to learn what she really is, and for the most part, she wishes to keep much of it obscure, as she’s not sure how anyone could handle knowing the truth. Clues and hints will be subtly added, hopefully in experiments and encounters with other SCP’s in the foundation.

I do want to evoke a sense of humor around her playful exterior attitude, yes, but I do want to put a tone of mystery, and even a bittersweet pinch of empathy/sadness behind her reasons for coming to this universe.

It’s actually a concept I’ve been working on for a long time, and thought that this may be the perfect spot to use it.

As for the reading you’ve listed, I’ve already read some of that, but if you suggest, I’ll go back and take a second look at it.

Also, could you help me understand more about these series categories? I didn’t exactly see much of a difference at first glance.

Thanks for dropping in to help me, btw.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 21 Dec 2019 05:45 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP 4459: Schrödinger’s Hivemind

Doctor Fullham 21 Dec 2019 02:51

Trust me when I say there is explanation and story to go with this SCP

You should include at least a short summary of that in the ideas post.

Also, could you help me understand more about these series categories? I didn’t exactly see much of a difference at first glance.

The categories themselves don't mean that much, it's just that most Series 1 SCPs were written before the wiki really had developed any standards, and are considered not great by today's standards. Many have zero narrative and are just superpowered humans or things that do a thing.

encounters with other SCP’s in the foundation.

Keep cross-linking to a minimum, it's not considered great practice anymore.

did you want me to write the summary in clinical terms too?

No, just a useful guide for when you reach the drafting phase.

Re: SCP 4459: Schrödinger’s Hivemind

DyProxus 21 Dec 2019 01:49

Edits have been done. How’s this?

Last edited on 21 Dec 2019 17:03 by DyProxus Show more

Admin Post - Info - Open

Zyn 21 Dec 2019 05:46

DyProxus, instead of posting multiple comments in succession, please edit your previous post using the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of every comment. That prevents spam buildup, and it's in the rules.

Re: Admin Post - Info - Open

DyProxus 21 Dec 2019 13:23

I kind of realized that immediately after I hit the wrong button…….and sadly the site won’t let me delete my own comment. Lessons learned, I guess.

Edit: Side note. It’s becoming a little tricky to spot all these sudden changes. Wow.

Last edited on 21 Dec 2019 19:02 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

cybersqyd 23 Dec 2019 18:49

[Noting a PM request to review this]

Okay so basically my concerns here mirror what Doctor Fullham has already said: without knowing more about the story, it's not really possible for any critter to give you good advice on what you want to do with it or make a judgement as to whether it's worth greenlighting.

In fact, yes, people have tried to use her in some ways, including at the foundation too.

Are you wanting to include this? What have they tried to use her for? Why?

People want to learn what she really is, and for the most part, she wishes to keep much of it obscure, as she’s not sure how anyone could handle knowing the truth. Clues and hints will be subtly added, hopefully in experiments and encounters with other SCP’s in the foundation.

Is the truth she's hiding just the bit where she's a non-corporeal being with multiple physical bodies? Or is there more here? What are you wanting to hint at here?

I do want to evoke a sense of humor around her playful exterior attitude, yes, but I do want to put a tone of mystery, and even a bittersweet pinch of empathy/sadness behind her reasons for coming to this universe.

Okay so what's the mystery? What's the bittersweet pinch behind her reasons for coming to this universe?

How are you wanting to like, actually convey this as a SCP article? Like are you just gonna do a bunch of interviews with the SCP? What's the story actually driving all this exposition forwards and like, keeping a reader engaged?

Last edited on 23 Dec 2019 18:58 by cybersqyd Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 23 Dec 2019 20:48

I’ve introduced the concept on several other mediums in different variations, but the tricky part is deciding how to go about exactly what she is on this one.

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There are several ways to go about it, but they all center around idea of an OC of a lonely and/or dying man coming to life, like the old story of the sculptor trying to bring his marble sculpture of a woman to life.

1. I could have it be the product of someone accidentally creating her through the use of another anomalous object

2. The non corporeal entity existed long before the OC was made, and for whatever reason chose to assume the role.

3. She could serve as a sort of 4th wall bending, a real life OC that knows the medium she’s in, essentially a living OC sheet. This one likely won’t be used since I recently (like less than a day ago) read over one of the SCP-001 proposals that covers a very similar topic, and it would feel like I’m copying. Plus it might be a bit too big of a stretch. That one would have been the “truth” that might be too much to handle. And no, it is NOT a self-insert in any way.

One way or another, the man in question (possibly tried to the foundation in some way) tries to develop a character design for the woman of his dreams, and he decides to have a little fun in creating her. She comes to life through some means and she offers him friendship and comfort until eventually the man dies and the object is left alone, on the search for someone else to cheer up.

There are a number of ways I plan to lead this story, and yes, interviews are part of it, followed by reports of certain tests using her and even a tale depicting her. Generally, the foundation is trying to figure out how on earth it operates (they don’t figure out about ????-2 until much later testing in fact), whether or not something of this type can even be trusted, how to contain it, or how to use it. It may be cooperative on many of the above, but it is reluctant to speak of the more somber parts of its past, for obvious reasons.

That’s the general idea of it, but I want it to be a slow build and keep people theorizing about its past, origin, and inner workings.

Most of the “people who used her” were at the foundation. I’m sure you can imagine that if the foundation somehow got their hands on someone who can die and come back an infinite number of times, they’d take full advantage of that in dangerous testing scenarios (assuming they’re short on D-Class).

Last edited on 24 Dec 2019 01:58 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

cybersqyd 24 Dec 2019 09:10

Hm. Okay so my big concern as I read this is that you appear to have setup a "mystery box": namely, you're centring an article around the mystery of what a thing is and using that as the main focus driving the article forward and like, really highlighting the question of what it is: but you also don't actually have a good answer to it. This,,,isn't a terrible idea for serialised fiction but it kinda doesn't work for a SCP article because at some point you do kinda, have to address what it is or at least, give enough clues to allow a reader to be confident in their belief as to what it is.

At the moment it kinda feels like you just have the start of the story: the interplay between the man and the girl, and the girl eventually moving towards working with the Foundation is interesting but it doesn't quite feel like the whole story you want to tell here? It kinda feels like you need to collapse down the possibilities to like, the actual idea you want to tell and develop it further with that as a basis: trying to keep it open to everything is likely to leave the reader feeling very unsure about what is actually happening in an unsatisfying way.

I’m sure you can imagine that if the foundation somehow got their hands on someone who can die and come back an infinite number of times, they’d take full advantage of that in dangerous testing scenarios (assuming they’re short on D-Class).

Yeah, his name is Dr Bright and he's one of the most well known SCP characters (though tbf, the Foundation tends not to use him for testing purposes).

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 24 Dec 2019 12:57

After much mental debate, I settled on an origin.

The young man was an SCP researcher working on searching for new intelleng life. In his search, the object took great interest in him, his work, and the foundation itself by extension. In this rendition, the scientist would have been the very first intelligent life form she would have discovered on the physical plane. After doing tremendous amounts of research herself, she opted to make contact by changing her avatars to match the form and demeanor that the man would find the most appealing, to better ensure a peaceful first encounter. In this case, it turned out to be an OC he created as a teenager, Molly.

She would stay and learn as much as she could, enjoying her time as a human, though her true identity was hidden from the foundation.

Unfortunately, the one fact about humans that she never learned in time was how vulnerable humans actually were, and she learned this all too late as the man’s life was lost to a terminal illness. Unable to accept losing him, she revealed herself to the foundation. In exchange for letting them research her, she only asked that they work to try and find a way to bring her first and only friend back.

You get the idea, and I’m well aware of Dr. Bright. It was actually a video titled “Everything Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the Foundation” (I know it isn’t canon) that lead me here. I actually have plans for an interaction with him and my SCP that I hope people will find interesting.

Last edited on 27 Dec 2019 21:52 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

Zyn 27 Dec 2019 22:02

Got a PM about this, so here we go… as a preface, I personally don't really see any of this being particularly workable. It seems more like wish-fulfillment fanfiction or a maudlin anime than an SCP article that the audience will take seriously.

+ show block

First off though, things I think you should remove for sure:

• the Schrödinger reference. There isn't much thematic relevance between your anomaly here and the thought experiment.
• "it possesses one of the strongest psychic resistances ever recorded, if not the strongest" > remove this entirely, you'll probably get some immediate downvotes for obvious overpowered-ness.
• I actually have plans for an interaction with him and my SCP > people will downvote for obligatory unnecessary Bright namedrops.
• The young man was an SCP researcher working on searching for new intelleng life […] > pretty much the entirety of this setup is straight out of wish-fulfillment anime. The clone entities just happen to know about this dude's OCs and just happens to also learn about the Foundation and just happens to be able to reach out directly to the guy and he just happens to not find that and coincidental creepy at all? Also the dude just happens to be young, male, human, a researcher of extraterrestrial/extraplanar intelligent life, affiliated with the Foundation, and the kind of guy who makes OCs, and the kind of guy who wouldn't tell his supervisors about questionable stuff happening so that the entity needs to reveal herself to the Foundation on her own? And the guy happens to die from a terminal illness? And he didn't tell his apparent OC-looking friend?

Maaaaaaaybe this would be workable as a tale, but overall it just seems like fanfiction using established non-Foundation characters, that happens to use the Foundation as a backdrop as part of an AU or the like. There's also very little to the characters that would give the audience much to relate to—you have these teenage clones that observe humans specifically for some reason (even though it's mentioned that apparently they "research" other things, these clone things are pretty much exactly human in their mannerisms and behaviors. They don't come off as otherworldly at all. Maybe a little dense/clueless with regards to how humans work, but that in itself isn't enough to build up an identity as something Not of This World).

I'm also a little skeptical about this thing apparently having knowledge of other societies/learning as much as it can (why anyway?) if it's relying on the Foundation to bring a dude back to life (why didn't it just dip into its vast knowledge of alternate medicines and save the dude before the illness took him? Or did the dude never trust the creepy OC-lookalike enough to tell her about his illness?). Also, the whole "strangely benevolent, playful (if not somewhat childlike), inhumanly patient" setup seems pretty far-removed from most readers, so… that too comes off as kind of difficult to relate to and not necessarily the best material for leisure reading.

All that aside… you've still got the superpowered OC kinda setup that Doctor Fullham mentioned upthread. Giving it a sad story and unusually specific fixation on one human in particular doesn't change that.

My suggestions:

• don't make this thing have teenage human girls as information-gatherers. Maybe generic androgynous human-looking things.
• don't laundry-list all its stats like "psychic resistance" and how patient it is. The audience can determine those things while reading the article.
• don't make this thing claim to be a "researcher", since it's clearly not employing any sort of academic or scientific methods in its curious information-gathering.
• don't make this thing fixate on one person in particular. (Better yet, have it mention a bunch of individuals it wants to bring back to life.)
• give it a better reason besides "i just wanna learn everything" for seeking information. Otherwise, the Foundation could just give it access to a library of literally anything, from recipe books to every scientific journal ever, and it should be just fine without any need for a young male researcher to pine after.
• if you really want to do the sad "researcher dies, so this thing needs to reveal itself" setup, have the researcher be some old dude who studies anthropology or social psyc or the like.
• give it odd quirks/mannerisms that emphasize how this thing is very much not human. Build up some of its society/worldbuilding so it's not just a generic sci-fi alien thing.

Here's how I would have written it:

Have this thing be an entity in fixed space that desperately wants to know what it's like to interact with others who are not like them, and as such builds a bunch of clones to live vicariously through. Problem is, it has no idea how to interact in polite/non-shady society with anything, so obviously it needs to just hang around and try to mimic other organisms. Problem is, this thing has all the time in the world, but it keeps getting emotionally invested in living entities that die before it can ever interact with them meaningfully. Maybe it doesn't like the idea of having to learn about more than one individual at a time just to have a chat/be friends. So it keeps sending its clones out, hoping to find some society advanced enough to bring its not-yet-friends back to life so it can actually just have a decent conversation with them using all that they've learned. The Foundation decides to have part of containment involve teaching this entity how to speak a few languages and giving it access to human history archives (also teaching it how humans interact with friends), and the entity keeps them updated on what its clones are learning in other worlds.

Last edited on 27 Dec 2019 22:22 by Zyn Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 27 Dec 2019 23:56

Oof! You weren’t kidding about what you said in the pm. Probably the harshest critique I’ve had on any platform, but one that I’m glad to have.

+ show block

Schrödinger and Resistance are out. I actually recently thought of removing that reference in the name, but held off on it as inhad a sneaking suspicion that it might throw off any URL’s I had sent out. Gladly changing it.

Bright, again, not including mention of Bright specifically in the draft, but I might include in an addendum or an external tale if and only if I can work something with the creator of 963.

I did consider making the scientist a love interest at one point, but figured that wouldn’t pan out well in a scientific report. I could set him at any age really. It merely chose a form that might bringing back good memories. As for how it knows, remember that it can still interface with both the human mind and technology to some degree. She would have seen that come up at some point in either his thoughts, dreams, or somewhere in the art he created.

As for the learning everything bit, well I’m sure you can imagine that if it came across intelligent life for the first time in its studies of the cosmos (obviously its not from earth), it would learn everything it could about language through the minds of the people it sensed before establishing contact. She did choose to contact the first human that she came across, sure, but she didn’t jump in straight away. Though on second thought, perhaps I shouldn’t do this at all.

Better yet, I could just make it so the man is still alive, or I can remove him from the equation completely and just have the Foundation track reports of a young woman who appears everywhere and just won’t stay dead.

Also, I would say she’s more persistent than powerful. Again, I didn’t cover this further because it’s just a summary, but she’s an observer, not a combatant or a powerhouse by any means. Mentally versatile and a fast learner on the other hand? Absolutely. The very most she would have is some degree of telepathic prowess (only after a good while of discerning how to read another human’s mind; it would take time) and possibly low level telekinesis.

I do like the idea of having it keep the foundation updated on what happens on other worlds, and that was something I planned on including should a draft be green lit. Utilizing something like that for exploration or study of other planets, dimensions, or other SCP’s seems very much in the foundation’s best interest. Also, contrasting my words above, language and history information would be extremely key here, and yes, while it does need to be taught social normsI do want the object to at the very least want social interaction and have a relatively positive nature on the exterior. Young woman form in social situations though, hoping to stick with that.

But the bottom line that I wanna do here is I want to take a cosmic figure that’s hell bent on learning, and have it learn to be human. Struggles with the deaths of others, loss, emotion, trouble getting thoughts across, joy, possibly even romantic desires (exclusively in an external tale and nothing more), all of it over a period of time. I do want to make it something relatable.

As for continued containment procedures…..I don’t really think it’s possible to keep the object from spawning a clone somewhere else at a given time, though I imagine they would have procedures in place to ensure that the avatars stay out of specific areas, or just make sure that they don’t spawn out when they need one present. In fact, I imagine that the foundation might want some clones at a few locations to run other tests too.

Then again, if all else fails, I could always go full trope stuff like you said and just make a joke SCP out of it. Part of me does want to see where that gets me XD

Not gonna lie, that one hit pretty hard, but that was a necessary one. So, if I go through with this as shown above, could this be green lit?

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

Zyn 28 Dec 2019 01:26

Also, I would say she’s more persistent than powerful. Again […]

Effectively irrelevant because the entity is still miles and miles more capable than the average human being, and we already see "[thing] with [ability]" as an extremely common formulaic approach. You'd probably be more successful if this thing didn't have powers so much as natural attributes per her inherent sci-fi-whatever race, or the entity is solely reliant on unusual technology.

But the bottom line that I wanna do here is I want to take a cosmic figure that’s hell bent on learning, and have it learn to be human.

Again, also a very, very common theme in science fiction. You'll need to present this in a way that's not only believable, but also substantially different from existing examples in popular media (a lot of superheroes have this sort of setup, like Clark Kent/Superman. Also, the gems from Steven Universe. And so forth.)

Then again, if all else fails, I could always go full trope stuff like you said and just make a joke SCP out of it.

I'm not sure about this. What would the joke be and how is it funny?

So, if I go through with this as shown above, could this be green lit?

I wouldn't greenlight it just yet. I'd need to see a less human-fixated mindset, more worldbuilding to better solidify this thing as a more believable cosmic entity with a unique or otherwise unpredictable persona, better character development behind why exactly it's so "hellbent" on learning, and also some character flaws.

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 28 Dec 2019 04:00

To be fair, that’s basically most humanoid SCP’s I’ve ever seen.

I made a few modifications to the initial idea, but this is what I currently have in mind: The entity’s species (I call them Archivists) are purely logic based creatures, possibly even composed of nothing but pure thought in their core form. They exist in a way that transcends dimensional boundaries, but only one Archivist explores each galaxy (or possibly even one per universe if you want to scale it differently). Younger ones like this one collect their findings and share them with the rest of their race, assuming the logic that the more they learn, the stronger their race becomes. It’s all they’ve ever known, and learning in order to strengthen a species seems only logical to them.

They have “personalities”, but they lack emotion in their non corporeal forms and many of their avatar forms. A form with a physical brain however opens up emotions and sensations that are completely alien to logic based creatures like the Archivists. And upon experiencing it, memory of that feeling will burn into the mind forever.

Upon having a taste of emotions for the very first time, will they reject them? Will they question everything they know? Will they desperately crave a chance to study something unknown and embrace it wholeheartedly? Would it break them? Would it change?

Would it (try to) become human?

Last edited on 28 Dec 2019 04:03 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

Zyn 28 Dec 2019 04:08

To be fair, that’s basically most humanoid SCP’s I’ve ever seen.

Sure, but plenty of the popular stuff was written about a decade ago, and more recent humanoids don't focus on the powers as much or have deeply complex motivations and behaviors.

The entity’s species (I call them Archivists)

We've already got Archivists, in the Wanderers' Library. See the sister site here with the overview ("Universe" tab): http://wanderers-library.wikidot.com/orientation Also, there's an O5 councilmember with the title/nickname "The Archivist".

Upon having a taste of emotions for the very first time, will they reject them? Will they question everything they know?

This still sounds very much like an anime (and is again, very trope-heavy. See: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IsThisWhatAngerFeelsLike https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhatIsThisFeeling)

Would it (try to) become human?

If it's heavily logic-based, then no. Not at all. Human emotion has led to all sorts of terrible decisions and unnecessary conflicts. If there was any desire to feel human-like, it would probably be regarded as a "once in awhile" drug or the like.

At this point… I think you're much better off making this a tale, rather than an SCP article. The primary anomaly here isn't strong enough conceptually to be unique, and you've got a lot more development in the character here.

Last edited on 28 Dec 2019 04:10 by Zyn Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 28 Dec 2019 15:19

Is there something wrong with returning to an older/classic form? Apart from it possibly being less popular?

Also, thanks for the heads up. Come to think of it I don’t think a species relying solely on thought for communicating with their own race would actually have a word for their species. The designation would have to be man-made.

I actually haven’t watched many anime, so I’m actually a little surprised that such a thing is that much of a trope.

I would imagine it reacting to emotion with extreme caution at first, backing away until it thinks that perhaps it can safely study and experience it. Over time it might warm up to a researcher or two without even realizing it, both then it immediately retreats upon experiencing loss or sadness for the first time.

I’ll need to look into how tales work, and thankfully I’m much more comfortable with writing stories, so I might have some luck there. Regardless, I would still like to find some way to shape the idea into something worthy of being an SCP, but without completely losing sight of my original vision for it. I know it will be difficult (what great work isn’t difficult to make?), but I’m confident that it can still be done.

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

Zyn 28 Dec 2019 17:03

Is there something wrong with returning to an older/classic form?

Depends on how well the piece is written, and how unique the premise is.

Regardless, I would still like to find some way to shape the idea into something worthy of being an SCP

I’m confident that it can still be done.

I personally recommend trying a tale first, seeing the audience reaction to that, and then determining how to move forward with a potential article. If the audience isn't that enthusiastic about the tale or otherwise doesn't think an SCP article is necessary, then adjust accordingly. Is there a reason you really want this to be an SCP article in particular?

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 28 Dec 2019 18:09

I think it would be nice to bring back a taste of the classic style in some way.

I’m not sure if you mean why make an SCP profile first or why this specific concept, so I’ll answer both:

I figured it would be best to establish the entity before trying to write a story, but if you’re suggesting, I suppose I can give a tale a shot after a little more polishing on the concept.

If you meant why I want this particular SCP idea…….

(Brace yourself, this is a long box)

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It may be a little unprofessional of me to say it like this, but the full truth is that this is an evolving idea that I’ve held onto for years now, one that kind of holds a special place in my heart.

I originally designed a character named Molly for an online rp forum, and I designed her in a way very comparable to an SCP. The idea back then was that Molly was an OC that not only knew that she was an OC, but secretly had access to the RP’er’s text box, but lacked the permissions to god mode interactions. An OC with the power of an RP’er, but I always made sure of one thing: she knew that if she went overboard with those abilities or she went god-mode on anyone else, then the story wouldn’t be fun for anyone. Not the rp’er, not the other characters, and certainly not for herself. So she primarily used this to merely respawn, teleport, or just make copies of herself. She was actually very well accepted in her mediums, but I could never find a good way to implement this into a story of my own.

I had considered using a similar idea here, but ultimately decided that another being with comic semi-omnipotence and Bugs Bunny powers would not fit very well, even as a joke SCP. That especially became true after seeing a 001 proposal of a similar nature, so the meta reference was dropped.

*Side note, I even began to theorize that a similar scenario might even be the reason why 682 is so damn broken: the only way to get rid of him is to destroy the real SCP sheet, and the only one who can do that is the writer that made him. He could honestly be a very well hidden meta reference.*

Bottom line: it definitely might need polishing, and I know it certainly might be a little childish of me to say, but the concept is something very personal that I thought the SCP community might like. Though is seems like I still got a ways to go. XD

Yeah, I already know. Unrealistically crazy, right?

Last edited on 28 Dec 2019 21:05 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

Zyn 28 Dec 2019 21:22

I figured it would be best to establish the entity before trying to write a story,

The issue is, as an SCP anomaly, the entity isn't that interesting. A tale would give you more narrative freedom to explore the details about the entity that the Foundation wouldn't care about for an in-universe overview document, but the reading audience may find more compelling.

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the full truth is that this is an evolving idea that I’ve held onto for years now, one that kind of holds a special place in my heart.

the concept is something very personal that I thought the SCP community might like.

This might be problematic. For the record, especially at the start, no one will ever be as personally invested in this character as you are, especially since you're effectively trying to shoehorn it into the SCP format, rather than building the character from the ground-up to fit with the Foundation-universe. You will need to find reasons to convince the audience that this self-admitted super special OC character is worth caring about, rather than assuming that because you have a personal connection to it, others will like it.

I figured it would be best to establish the entity before trying to write a story, but if you’re suggesting, I suppose I can give a tale a shot after a little more polishing on the concept.

I personally don't think this is that workable as an SCP article as currently presented. If you write a tale, you may potentially both establish the entity's existence in the Foundation universe and possibly garner some positive interest in having an SCP article for the entity to begin with.

That said, it's up to you. I am not interested in reviewing this concept as an SCP article any further unless major revisions are made.

*Side note, I even began to theorize that a similar scenario might even be the reason why 682 is so damn broken

We had to make a thread entirely dedicated to this sort of theorizing because site members were tired of seeing so many threads about the lizard (plus the 682 discussion thread has a lot of similar posts): http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-5959708/682-destruction-collective-thread Again—remember, what might seem super fun and interesting and groundbreaking to you might not be perceived the same way by the audience.

I highly recommend that you seek additional opinions from other reviewers so you get a better feel for the eventual audience reaction overall. So far I am not convinced that this is a piece that will do well on the mainsite.

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 28 Dec 2019 21:57

Fair enough.

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I never said people would like it simply because I value it. Jumping into this with that logic would be a fool’s move, that’s destined to fail.

I’ll look for other critiques in the meantime and give a tale a shot, though I’ll probably try my hand at a different SCP idea, one that isn’t an OC or even humanoid for that matter. I’m sure I could cook up something interesting.

For now, thanks for your help. You’re probably right in the fact that I might not go far here without it. Still a little bummed out that I couldn’t impress you, but to be fair you did give me the warning XD

Last edited on 28 Dec 2019 22:15 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

Zyn 29 Dec 2019 01:28

With regards to tales, I recommend doing a fair bit of reading to get a feel for character development. The Guide Hub has a few guides specifically on characters, and there are also series works like these that may be good sources of inspiration:

• http://www.scp-wiki.net/etdp-hub-page
• http://www.scp-wiki.net/hunger-doggo-hub
• http://www.scp-wiki.net/dixieland-nightmare-magic-hub

Re: Schrödinger’s Human Hivemind

DyProxus 29 Dec 2019 01:49

This looks interesting. I’ll look into it. I’ve already started digging into the series section (chewing my way through the “Resurrection” line at the moment).

Re: Cosmic Hivemind Researcher.

TheMightyMcB 29 Dec 2019 00:08

Jumping in here to offer my opinion on this whole thing.

Frankly, I'm finding myself agreeing with Fullham, sqyd, and especially Zyn. Essentially, as they have all mentioned previously, this idea lacks a cohesive narrative direction to propel it and it doesn't have a unique gimmick to fall back on either. The effects are cliché (which can be fine if you want to play around with expectations), you're playing the character straight, and there is an awful lot of plot convenience propelling a lackluster narrative.

Alien thing what learns to be human is a concept as old as scifi itself (Spock, anyone?), and while it is an interesting bit of flavor to add to a character, it isn't enough to establish said character alone, nor is it fit to be the backbone of an entire plot.

I think that you would be best served trying something else, at least until you're comfortable playing with clichés in subversive and novel ways as an author. It would also help to get a better feel for modern SCP culture. learn the kinda things that do and don't work on the site. I was a hard lurker for a good 6 months before I ever wrote a thing, and even then it wasn't all that great tbh. I didn't get much better until about my third/fourth articles.

Re: Cosmic Hivemind Researcher.

DyProxus 29 Dec 2019 01:39

Zyn, you have some competition for the most brutal review.

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Could you care to explain the plot convenience? I don’t exactly see any outside of those mentioned in the other critiques (plot points that are being scrapped btw). I’ll probably just make a tale out of it just to see where it goes instead of making an SCP sheet. Might be a little bit of creator’s bias in the way, but…..

I actually have considered putting another anomalous effect on the object, possibly something more dangerous and possibly unintentional.

What would you suggest to build its character then?

Funny you should mention that. In the meantime, I actually am considering a second concept for an SCP, one that’s much more of a monster. I have some abilities, biological features, behaviors, and even a few possible origins laid out that would shape its personality and motives, but much like this one, I would still need to include an anomalous effect. Intelligence, speed, and such are great and all, but it needs something more that actually makes it an anomaly and not just a supremely evolved predator.

I’ll look into some more new material if you think it will help.

Last edited on 29 Dec 2019 01:50 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Cosmic Hivemind Researcher.

TheMightyMcB 29 Dec 2019 02:05

Well, scrapping the plot conveniences that others have mentioned leaves you with… well, not much.

Making an SCP always starts with a mostly complete idea for me, and I usually do that in one of two ways. Either I come up with a novel SCP object and then find a cool way to establish said object into a world that feels real, or I come up with a cool story and create an SCP that lets me tell it.

To use one of my own articles as an example cause I have no shame, check out SCP-2410. That one started out as a super basic (even cliché) effect; teddy bears with real bear insides. If my cowriters and I just wrote an entry about gory teddy bears, that wouldn't go very far at all. In fact, I bet it would have been deleted within a day. So instead, the focus of the article shifts to a debate between the ethics committee and the O5 council over whether or not it is the foundations responsibility to take care of the kids that are traumatized by the skip. That moral debate is what interested our readers, not the teddy bears themselves. Make sense?

Re: Cosmic Hivemind Researcher.

DyProxus 29 Dec 2019 02:44

Holy crap, that one was you?! I read that one way back when! I really liked that!

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I guess that makes sense

I considered a sort of dilemma for the object, struggling to come to terms with the human emotions that come from the genetically human avatars that it learned to create. Perhaps she sees humans as inferior, but finds herself stuck on something that she still can’t grasp yet, and maybe will never truly understand.

The second one is more of a predatory/villainous concept. Its goals are to further evolve itself, but it isn’t satisfied with doing so the traditional kill and eat way, so it decides to make a game out of it. All creatures are challenges, opponents, and toys to him. Every hunt, every containment breach, every inventive method of killing is nothing more than a game, and he won’t bring himself to upgrade unless he’s confident that his performance shows that he has mastered his current skill set. His own pride won’t allow anything less.

How’s that for a personality?

Last edited on 29 Dec 2019 03:48 by DyProxus Show more

Re: Cosmic Hivemind Researcher.

TheMightyMcB 29 Dec 2019 20:30

Well, so my example isn't meant to be representative of the only way to tell a story within an SCP, it's just one example of how you can take the effects of an SCP and extrapolate them out to the real world. You just need to think about some of the ways that this stuff really would pan out in real life, and generally that's a great first step towards writing an interesting narrative.

Re: Cosmic Hivemind Researcher.

DyProxus 31 Dec 2019 15:02

That I get, yes, and that is something I did want to cover in the article, if it ever becomes one.

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I imagine that the obvious first step would have been learning how to potentially contain a being that might be able to access anything in the foundation. What is it capable of, how do they track it?

Second step after learning all that can be done to contain it would be to understand its motives and discern how much they can really trust the entity, and educate it appropriately.

Step 3: How can they utilize what they’ve learned? Could this SCP be used for exploration and data collection on far off worlds and dimensions? Could its coordination and (willing) physical expendability be utilized in containing/studying dangerous SCP’s (with authorization or if D-Class is on short supply (I am curious how 682 would react to a “toy” that it can kill over and over again. Something to keep it busy and entertained?))? Can it teleport with objects or people, serving as a sort of delivery service between Foundation locations? Could its highly developed telepathic prowess be used to understand the mind, or perhaps mental disorders (like that deep sleep SCP)?

Even given the base mentioned skill set, the practical applications that the foundation can utilize are numerous.

Sorry for the late reply btw.

Last edited on 31 Dec 2019 15:05 by DyProxus Show more