Semi-Comedic SCP

Semi-Comedic SCP

Duwiiton 25 Nov 2019 23:31

(To be clear, the comedy comes from the flavor listed later on. The core concept itself isn't funny.)

The concept is an electronic media of some sort - I can't decide. I'm thinking a TV - it just has to be able to be tampered with.

The media itself describes Combat Ice-Skating, and the rules.
It goes through the instructions, which I'll bullet.

+ show block

*On the side, an assistant with a medical certificate is required at the arena for each team. Injuries, casualties, and other is not to be punished.
*The arena should be fenced off from spectators to avoid either group from attacking each other.
*Skaters are expected to use the blades on their feet as weapons - and as such, cannot modify them. However, adjusting the weight of them is okay.

Amendments:
*Firearms are prohibited to the players, coach, spectators, insiders, Zamboni driver, medical-malpractioner, deus-ex machinas, protagonists, and plot-enhancers.
*Excruciating pain against teammates is prohibited.
*Arsenic based lifeforms are banned.
*Rotisserie chicken shall not be a concession in any games.

Mid-way through, SCP-XXXX is almost rendered neutralized by some semi-comedic mean that isn't a result of stupidity, but through an ironic occurrence. A technician is called to fix it. The technician has some tinkering and attempts to fix it - but ends of getting the researcher's attention by causing the game to parallel other things already existent. (Ie: A "Protect the President" gamemode comes around, forcing a soccer player onto the ice. He can kick a soccer ball to defend himself, but it takes much more skill than the quick melee skaters.)

A bunch of variations are exposed, and the further they go, the more complex the "gamemodes" become (within reason). Classes are added, a mandatory news break enters which lasts two entire minutes. An infomercial appears that detail a product for the skaters, displaying a product with the skaters in the infomercial displaying horrible dexterity and being the biggest klutzes possible.

In the end, it ends up becoming High Art Ice-Skating, becoming a minimalist form of Ice-Skating and parodying trendy styles. Classical musicians play in the background and the skaters are entirely benign in fashion while the coach is a decked out fashionista with the most abstract fashion possible.
They become unable to revert anything, and the TV (or other media form) shows sentience and refuses to allow anyone to change it in favor of its "classiness".

Planned Jokes/Quirks -

Title of advertisement found somewhere - "Combat Ice-Skating - 75 Family Friendly Sports Without Decapitation!*"
One team has a Mortician as their medically certified member. They are allowed firearms - mostly for euthanasia.
One team accidentally came in as a curling team - and won.
The enemy team attempted to call upon their immortal deity, who immediately challenges Jesus as the other team is Protestant. The deity leaves when Jesus doesn't show up.
A round immediately breaks into the song and reenacts several historical operas and plays. Unfortunately, the round ends after a masquerade breaks out and they switch into poetry - except it's the Red Masque Of Death and an evacuation is called.

More jokes are planned, of course, but it will come throughout the story.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 26 Nov 2019 08:05 by Zyn Show more

Re: Semi-Comedic SCP

gee0765 26 Nov 2019 01:48

You know what? I think this is a pretty fun concept. The way I'm interpreting it, it's like some sort of TV or similar that broadcasts this 'sport'? I think it could have some entertaining test logs, and you've already got some ideas for plot points and escalation throughout.

I'd recommend that you focus more on absurdity of what's happening over complexity of the game modes, because if you put too much in the latter you risk boring the reader with rules. But with that kept in mind, this concept really entertained me, and with minor polishing and working out what you'll put in, what you'll cut etc. I think this could work. Just make sure you've got clear ideas for how to escalate this.

I do think that you're trying to do a little too much in the concept right now, for example I'm not sure that I enjoy the part with Jesus just not turning up as it's a bit of an anticlimax, and not an intentional one like your ending. Apart from that specific thing, just consider cutting one or two of the moving parts down a little. Anyway, Greenlight.

---

Since you need two Greenlights to use the Drafts forum, I recommend seeking out additional crit by PMing users on the Butterfly Squad Roster or by asking in the IRC Chatrooms.

Last edited on 27 Nov 2019 00:21 by gee0765 Show more

Re: Semi-Comedic SCP

cybersqyd 01 Dec 2019 08:23

[Noting a PM request to review this.]

I broadly agree with everything gee0765 said here: there's a fun idea here but it also could do with a little more focus on actually just letting it be fun instead of introducing new things for one off jokes.

+ minor things

Skaters are expected to use the blades on their feet as weapons - and as such, cannot modify them. However, adjusting the weight of them is okay.

I don't know if this is just me being unfamiliar with ice skating lingo here but it seems to me that adjusting the weight of the blades would be a form of modification?

Excruciating pain against teammates is prohibited.

Gonna just note that this probably needs a verb at the start like "causing"

But yeah: I think as long as you get the focus right, you could really have something fun here. So I'm gonna greenlight you. Since this is your second, you can now make a post in the Drafts Critique Forum for this idea! Remember to link to this thread when you do; and that you can use the SCP Sandbox for writing the draft :3 (Also feel free to drop me a PM once you have if you want me to take a look at it)

Last edited on 01 Dec 2019 08:59 by cybersqyd Show more