SCP-9999-J / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-9999-J.

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Author Post

ManyMeats 11 Oct 2019 15:01

This is my first -J and that probably shows, but I had fun writing this. It's a bad joke and that's why I love it. Also kind of, in a way, a Shaggy Dog piece.

Thanks for cows for being really neat.

Please consider reducing your red-meat intake in your diet for the benefit of both animals and the environment. I personally trimmed back to maybe one day a week and it's been a net improvement to my quality of life, and I feel good about it morally. Do research and decide for yourself!

EDIT 12/6/2020: I made the GOC guy a Chav. Sorry not sorry.

Last edited on 06 Dec 2020 06:28 by ManyMeats Show more

Vincent Van Gone 11 Oct 2019 15:29

I felt like this went on for too long after the 'big moment' (although from my understanding this was part of the joke), which is why I downvoted. I probably would have upvoted if you somehow found a way to make the last line "the steaks keep getting higher", because that was a great pun, but its impact was too diminished for me.

Additionally, there's something about the Apollyon classification which feels weird to me, which makes no sense because it plays perfectly into the article's pun. Maybe if you had an offset with the first page as Euclid/Keter and just a description of some of the earlier events, and then a new revision with the Apollyon class and the logs? I'm not sure if that would help though :x

Last edited on 11 Oct 2019 15:33 by Vincent Van Gone Show more

ManyMeats 11 Oct 2019 15:34

Appreciate you taking the time to lay out your feedback! This continuing to drag on after the steaks joke was indeed part of the gag.

Last edited on 11 Oct 2019 15:43 by ManyMeats Show more

canaryfarmer 11 Oct 2019 15:47

Completely agreed that the punchline showed up way too early, since the rest of the article just meandered afterwards in order to say it again (I honestly don't see how it dragging on afterwards is part of the joke). Either end with that line, or have it keep repeating so many times it becomes funny just by repetition (probably not the best solution, honestly).

No vote: + for the build-up to the good punchline, - for the full execution.

Last edited on 11 Oct 2019 15:50 by canaryfarmer Show more

ManyMeats 11 Oct 2019 15:57

I've done an edit to end with the joke. The "meta joke" was in that once you've built up all of those expectations it's really easy to totally let the article down with your ending.

Last edited on 11 Oct 2019 15:58 by ManyMeats Show more

canaryfarmer 11 Oct 2019 16:04

+1 from me then. :)

This is a solid joke on its own, complicating it with a confusing extra-meta-level thing that has to be spelled out is, in this case, not worth it. Maybe save it for something else.

ManyMeats 11 Oct 2019 16:10

You're very right. If you have to explain the joke, it's not there yet.

Vincent Van Gone 11 Oct 2019 16:10

I changed my vote after your edits because the log flows better now.

ManyMeats 11 Oct 2019 16:10

Thanks for being open to a re-read! Your time and readership is appreciated.

FoxxoFreak 11 Oct 2019 15:45

I liked this one. I enjoy reality-bending type SCPs, I think it's pretty funny that all of Earth's cows levitate. Also, steak joke. That was good. I'd say not to change anything, its great. steak

gee0765 11 Oct 2019 17:05

You better have a good excuse for getting rid of Super Apollyon++ >:|

Even without that, this is still funny. +1

Maple-star 11 Oct 2019 17:48

I think the build up was a bit longer than it needed to be, but I loved how the UIU was just ignored and the ending was satisfying. Good job +1

Nagiros 11 Oct 2019 18:17

Why is this happening to scp

+1

ManyMeats 11 Oct 2019 18:26

Hang on to ya butts

user_Renegade 11 Oct 2019 19:23

You absolute motherfucker. I can't believe you did this shit.

+1.

Westrin 12 Oct 2019 18:15

I expect nothing less from ManyMeats

+1

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ONE (1) Issue

Dyslexion 13 Oct 2019 01:08

GOC Leadership: Now wait just a darn tootin' minute.

this is my only issue with the text. This is an American expression

Kybard 13 Oct 2019 18:14

more like a shaggy brat story, really.

+1

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