Vengeful Farm (GREENLIGHT NEEDED)

Summary:

A farm out in France has a farmer that commits suicide

A farm, A man, and an endless rebirth cycle

Dr H Watson 17 Aug 2019 18:31

A farm out in France has a farmer that commits suicide, but there appears to be than depression causing it…

I trimmed your thread summary above, since it was taking up a lot of space on the forum listing. Try to keep thread descriptions and titles under 7 lines so you don't visually crowd out other people's threads. ~Zyn

*Latest change, Sept. 2 2019* A farm (2000 m²) with a windmill and shack out in France that holds a farmer that commits suicide. Locals say a god (Cernunnos) cursed the farm and imprisoned him there. The farm when entered will affect occupants minds and push them to kill themselves that is unless they worship Cernunnos.

The farmer use to worship Cernunnos until he was baptized and began to worship Jehovah. When the farmer kills himself rats will appear and feast on the farmer till all that remains is bones. Two weeks later he will reform, when the windmill spins, fully concious and be mentally assaulted by the farm once more. If a person is to die in SCP-XXXX they will enter into the life and death cycle such as was the case with D-4444.

The farmer says Jehovah brings him back to life stating that Cernnunos is trying to send him to hell by commanding him to take his life, and that Jehovah is bringing him back to escape the farm. The farmer is physically unable to leave the farm though and he can't die any other way than self-harm. The farmer is stuck in an endless loop of death and rebirth spurred by a battle of attrition between tireless gods.

Events:
-Cernunnos enters SCP-XXXX and takes the farmers soul, travelling down to the underworld to keep him there. He is stopped and pushed back out by Jehovah.
- Jehovah sends a man clad in armor to break the farmer free but is stopped by a follower of Cernunnos and subsequently Cernunnos, who transports the man to a far away place as he cannot kill him.

Last edited on 02 Sep 2019 20:23 by Dr H Watson Show more

Re: A farm, A man, and an endless rebirth cycle

Zyn 19 Aug 2019 07:00

Gave this a quick read since it fell to page 6 with no replies.

So… I'm not too sure about this, mainly because most of the content here seems kind of loosely smushed together rather than connected via an overarching theme. (Also, some general errors like confusing sentient and sapient?)

I will say that this story of a dude effectively becoming cursed kind of the way Cain from the Bible was is a little… creepypasta-y, I guess? Especially since the name of the god who cursed him is conveniently given to anyone who walks into the farm area and there are convenient notes from both village and pastor conveniently explaining the backstory? Tales of cursed people are pretty common in fiction writing.

SCP-XXXX will be surrounded by a 3 meter high electrical fence and have a 1 kilometer quarantine.

This is pretty unnecessary. Just set up a guarded perimeter. No need for that much fence, let alone electrified.

I admittedly don't know about this. It seems kind of… dunno, generic so far as horror goes? The Greeks and Romans already did the "angry gods impose a specific and unusual cyclical punishment". Is there any sort of unpredictable element to this story beyond "guy breaks faith, is cursed"? Any twist on the typical "anger of the gods" story?

Last edited on 19 Aug 2019 08:06 by Zyn Show more

Re: Vengeful Farm (GREENLIGHT NEEDED)

Mistopheles 31 Aug 2019 06:36

Okay so, i'll do some groundwork for the next greenlighter. Alus is a gaulish god of agriculture. that's literally all that wikipedia says about him.

Knowing that, the "someone who worships Alus" condition is kinda a hell of a condition to meet, let alone a whole group of locals knowing who he is and that's why he was killed. Also, what little I could scrape from him doesn't tie him to crows or death in any way. Add on that despite this vagueness, he's supposedly as powerful as a god which is worshipped in different forms by three of the biggest religions in the world, and it feels like a really random choice.

Now, looking over the gaulish gods, one is Cernunnos, god of animals and life:

Cernunnos was a Celtic god of fertility, life, animals, and wealth. It is also a common misconception that he is the god of the underworld, but he is merely capable of traversing between this world and the world of the dead and bringing humans with him.

I can't help but wonder if he'd be a better fit.

Let alone that neither god is trying to do anything to spice things up. Seriously, these are omnipotent beings. Has Jehovah never tried to resurrect him anywhere else? Or break the barrier Alus holds? Or just pop down to hell and nab him there to spite Alus?

Alus affects non-worshippers to want to kill themselves - then what? Do they get stuck in the cycle too? Why wouldn't he try to convince his worshippers that the farmer was evil? Does Jehovah say anything? if not, why not?

The core problem with this story is that it's an idiot plot - it only works because the gods hate each other, care nothing about the wellbeing of the farmer, and are both immense idiots who can't be bothered to think of trying anything different. Even if it's not about him, and just about winning, that's not a good reason to not try different things to help win. A few SCPs do this infinite loop stuff, sometimes because of an overarching intelligence orchestrating it, but having it be a single person in the middle of an eternal tug-of-war honestly just serves to make them both look like petty idiots.

Consider some things:
- Does it need to be these two gods, or even any specific gods?
- Why is Alus himself not an SCP?
- What is jehovah doing? How is each god trying to definitively win, as opposed to just going through the motions?

Re: Vengeful Farm (GREENLIGHT NEEDED)

Dr H Watson 31 Aug 2019 07:12

Thanks Dr Mistopheles, I'll definitely add a plot to the struggle between the gods change the god (Alus) as well. To address the issue of what happens to non-worshipers? Well, I accidentally omitted it in the summary but they do get pulled into the cycle. I will edit the summary to match. Mahalo!