Experiment Log for SCP-447-2
Approved by O5-█
Monitored by O5-█, O5-██, O5-█
Project Head: Dr. A. Clef
All researchers working with SCP-447 are encouraged to append their results to this experiment log in the following format:
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject:Procedure:
Results:
Notes:
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: SCP-882
Procedure: SCP-447-2 was refined into a lubricant. SCP-882 was temporarily removed from its seawater bath and SCP-447-2 applied as a lubricant to all joints and connections.
Results: Although SCP-447-2 was successful in reducing grinding and noise by 50%, it was also successful in removing rust from the structure. SCP-882 was immediately returned to its seawater bath, and staff on-hand were placed in quarantine for examination.
Notes: "Let's not try that again, shall we?" - Dr. A. Clef
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: One (1) guinea pig, purchased from pet shop.
Procedure: Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five (5) minutes. Care was taken to keep the subject's head above the level of the fluid, to prevent the death of the test subject.
Results: Subject's fur became saturated with the fluid. Test Item required several hours of grooming to remove SCP-447-2 from its fur. No further deleterious effects reported.
Notes: After careful washing to remove all traces of SCP-447-2 from its fur, subject was subsequently consumed by Agent ███████, who is of Peruvian descent. Agent ███████ reported that the meat was, in his own words, "the best cuye I've ever had." Approval for testing of SCP-447-2 as a marinade is currently on hold pending review of whether or not a steak constitutes a dead body.
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: One (1) tablet SCP-500
Procedure: Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five (5) minutes.
Results: In addition to curing all diseases, subject now also leaves the patient's breath feeling minty fresh.
Notes: "About what was expected. Seriously, guys, what were you thinking would happen?" Dr. A. Clef
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: SCP-076-2
Procedure: 500ml of SCP-447-2 was added to 500ml distilled vodka (███████) and two dozen ice cubes, shaken well, and strained into a pitcher. Approximately 0.2 liters of the mixture were poured into a glass with mint and a lime garnish. Mixture was taken to SCP-076-2, who was told, "Hey, Able, try this, it's pretty good."
Results: SCP-076-2 agreed that the mixture was, in his words, "refreshing," but immediately lost interest when told of SCP-447-2's interaction with dead bodies.
Notes: Because of SCP-076-2's tendency to become and/or create dead bodies, further contact with SCP-447 is forbidden.
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: One (1) Pentium 4 computer: 1.5 ghz, with [DATA EXPUNGED]
Procedure: Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five (5) minutes, with the power cord unplugged.
Results: Subject became caked in goo and no longer functions.
Notes: "Whoever came up with this one should be kicked in the head." - Dr. A. Clef
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: SCP-063
Procedure: Dr. ███ used SCP-447 instead of toothpaste to brush his teeth with SCP-063
Results: Given that Dr. ████ doesn't need to use toothpaste to begin with, not much, really.
Notes: "What is WITH you people?" - Dr. A. Clef
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: One (1) dead body
Notes: Test was aborted. The scientist who made the proposal has been reassigned as Class D Personnel.
Notes (2): "Seriously, guys, how hard is it to understand? No. Dead. Bodies. None. Nada. Nein! Don't think about it, don't joke about it, and most certainly, don't DO it. Sheesh!" - Dr. A. Clef
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: Dr. A. Clef
Procedure: Dr. A. Clef was ambushed in the hallway, dragged into a room with a bathtub full of SCP-447-2, and immersed for approximately 25 seconds.
Results: Subject became irate, and threatened to kill staff members carrying out the experiment if it were not for the fact that doing so would violate experimental protocol.
Notes: "As soon as this mess is cleaned up you will all be missed." - Dr. A. Clef
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: Potassium Nitrate/Sugar mix
Procedure: A spoonful of SCP-447 was added to the mix of Potassium Nitrate and Sugar, in order to create a makeshift smoke grenade.
Results: Not only did the new mix slow down the combustion in such a way that the generated smoke was ten times greater and lasted approximately 5 minutes longer than the original mix, but it also colored the smoke with a green tint and left it with a minty smell.
Notes: "Not bad for a three-dollar smoke grenade. Although this wouldn't work so well in the field, the odds of the smoke reaching a dead body are just too high."
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: Prof. Snider
Procedure: Two drops (1 microlitre each) of SCP-447, one in each of Prof. Snider's eyes (note that Prof. Snider has an astigmatism and normally wears corrective eyewear).
Results: Vision was clear and focused for six hours, though Prof. Snider reported to now see everything in a green tint. Subject's eyesight soon returned to normal, though both eyes are now a much more brilliant green than before.
Notes: "Oh well. I look better with my glasses anyway." -Prof. Snider
Notes (2): "This might be marketable as vision-correction, but people might notice the extra green. Regardless, I'd like to request a couple of litres of this stuff for personal use." - Agent Marr
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: 8 ounce (236 ml) glass of skim milk
Procedure: Two (2) teaspoons of SCP-447 thoroughly stirred into milk.
Results: Milk turned a bright green in color and was slightly thicker, with a slight minty flavor. Chemical analysis later indicated that the concoction was now lactose-free.
Notes: "You know, we might be able to market this stuff. I'm pretty sure dead bodies don't drink milk." -Prof. Snider
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: 15 lbs. (6.8 kg) quick-dry cement
Procedure: Cement powder and 5 gallons (19 liters) of SCP-447 rotated inside a standard miniature cement mixer.
Results: Mixture took on a green tinge and solidified to a hardness 50% greater than normal concrete, though it took twice as long to dry.
Notes: "It seems promising, but it's time-consuming to make and the risks of a dead body falling on a slab of this stuff is too high." -Prof. Snider
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: 2 cups of water
Procedure: One (1) tablespoon of SCP-447-2 thoroughly stirred into water.
Results: Water turned a green tint but is otherwise normal. Contaminants reduced by 78%
Notes: "This would make a good chlorine subtitute for swimming pools; all the cleanliness of chlorinated water without the bleachy smell or hair discolorization. Too bad some swimmers are careless and turn into dead bodies."—Dr. Ray A██████
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: one (1) pizza produced by SCP-458
Procedure: One (1) small sauce cup of SCP-447-2 is held in one hand by Agent Palhinuk, while the other holds SCP-458.
Results: No outward change in the composition of SCP-447-2 is evident. SCP-458 produced a hamburger pizza on a cheese-stuffed crust. After dipping a slice in SCP-447-2 and ingesting, Agent Palhinuk noted the taste of the substance was like a creamy Italian dressing. Following his consumption of the pizza, Agent Palhinuk's breath was said to be minty fresh. He then proceded to hoard the pizza box to himself for a few hours.
Notes: "Though this brings up new indication into the nature of SCP-458, nothing remarkable has come to attention from this, other then Pal's tendency to overeat. Slight psychological therapy may be in order." - Dr. del Morrino
"I'd suggest we market this stuff as a dressing, but people eating lots of pizza on a regular basis tend to become dead bodies, so…" - Agent Palhinuk
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: one ██████ brand cellular phone
Procedure: ██████ phone is placed in one (1) small plastic container holding one (1) liter of SCP-447-2 and left to sit for five (5) minutes with power off and battery disconnected.
Results: ██████ phone is ruined and subsequently destroyed in a nearby furnace. The ashes and fumes from the burning ██████ phone were reported to be green and minty in scent.
Notes: "Hey, has anyone seen my phone?" - Agent Palhinuk
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: One (1) Trojan condom
Procedure: Dr. A██████ placed the condom on his [DATA EXPUNGED] and applied SCP-447-2 onto it. He then tested the SCP-447-2-covered condom by [DATA EXPUNGED]
Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Dr. A██████ reports that the procedure "went really well."
Notes: "I could market this as that kind of lubricant, but I don't think a warning label is enough to ensure that some necrophiliac doesn't gets his or her hands on it."—Dr. A██████
Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject: Three (3) cars: one (1) 2006 Honda Civic, one (1) 06 Dodge Stratus, one (1) 06 Chevy Malibu
Procedure: SCP-447 was used as liquids in each vehicle-mixed equally with oil, used as window washer fluid, and mixed into the radiator.
Results: Each car had each liquid added individually. The various components of each engine performed with superb results:
-The Honda's radiator did not overheat until temperatures reached in excess of 650o farenheit, more than twice the average temperature of a vehicle. The water seemed to be tinted green even after drained.
-The Stratus's windshield was cleaned to factory-new perfection, and resisted dirt and grim after use; Side affect described as green tinted glass.
-The Malibu's engine components were lubricated to perfection, lasted over 100,000 miles on a dynometer, exhaust was tinted green.
Notes: "Impressive, but given the intelligence of some drivers the chance of corpse contamination is too high." -Dr. Ax██████
