Dr. Wondertainment Goes Out With A Bang
rating: +9+x

Doctor Cornelius Wondertainment checked over the design documents one last time. His lips curled up in a smile as he worked over every detail of his new toy. The investors had said it may be his biggest seller yet and revolutionize their product line. Better yet, if he started now he'd be done in time for the Christmas rush! It truly was a shame it would never reach mass market. The toymaker looked out his window with a serene smile on his face as thick smoke appeared on Wonderworld's horizon and far off fires stained the sky scarlet.

"Well…" The Simple Toymaker said, speaking to no one in particular as he was alone in his office. "I suppose I'll just go out with a bang."


Cornelius helped load the last heavy crate into the last truck in the last warehouse in Wonderworld. The truck's back door closed and it pulled away, driving through a glittering Way that shut behind it in a flash of blue light. A loud bang rang out from somewhere far away and the lights of the recently emptied building flickered. Cornelius sighed and turned around. Feeling nostalgic, he looked around the massive warehouse for a few moments before walking outside into the gloom of red, smoke-filled skies

Wonderworld was as colorful and whimsical as ever despite the doom awaiting it in mere hours. The buildings came in so many gravity-defying varieties that a normal man would have struggled simply to navigate the purple sidewalk, though Cornelius had no trouble making his way through. The ground shook as something massive approached on the horizon and a particularly fragile glass building shattered into a trillion shards that fell to the ground in a heep. Cornelius walked past the wreckage up to a woman in a cyan business suit standing next to an abandoned, bird-house shaped office building. She was the last person in the city other than the Toymaker himself.

"Is the vest ready?" Cornelius asked.

"Yep! It's on your desk." The woman tried to sound cheerful but didn't seem to be able to pull it off.

"Excellent, that's exactly what I wanted to hear! You're promoted and getting a raise." Another crash came and the ground shook under their feat. "Two raises!" Cornelius tapped an app on his phone and a Way leading to a grassy field with a bustling modern city on the horizon opened next to the woman. She hesitated.

"You… Sure you can't come, sir?" She asked him. Cornelius shook his head.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry. You see Mr. Khahrahk is here for me and me alone so only I can lure him out of hiding. We may never get another opportunity like this. Besides, I promised Isabel the company and since I don't actually age this is the only way she'll get her hands on it." The woman nodded but still seemed reluctant to leave.

"Well… you're the CEO so what you say goes. But I honestly don't know how we'll do this without you." Cornelius laughed.

"Isabel has all my good traits and none of my bad ones." He explained. "She'll do fine. And besides, every company faces hardships from tome to time whether they're recessions, poor business decisions or assaults from the personification of suffering and violence. Business is business, you adapt or you die."

"I guess…"

"Please go, this will be easier if I know you made it out and I don't know how much longer the Ways will be stable." She stepped through the portal which closed behind her leaving Cornelius alone under a red sky. Far, far above him dark shapes appeared, just faintly visible behind Wonderworld's artificial moon.


Cornelius walked down a pastel colored street as the world shook around him. The General Beeps were doing a good job holding the line against the Scarlet Horde, but even they had their limits. Cornelius was wearing a bulky violet overcoat along with his famous top hat. Plaster rained down on him as his cane clicked on the sidewalk. He waved hello and called out greetings to his friends who lived there. They all were dead or had fled, but Cornelius still wanted to do it for old time's sake. He walked under a pink arch and down some fractured stairs as the tremors got closer. He stepped past an alley with a deactivated street light then saw the gates of Wonderworld and the fires burning all around it. And beyond that, he glimpsed the twisted, inhuman Scarlet Horde stretching across the horizon.

"Lower the shield and have my General Beeps evacuate if their still able." Cornelius whispered into his cell phone. There was a mechanical noise as the shield went down allowing Cornelius to walk out into the recently created wasteland. The smell of fire and burnt electronics hit him as soon as he stepped out of the borders of Wonderworld. Ash fell on him coating him in a thin layer of grey and a wave of brutal heat struck him. Cornelius took a deep breath. Then he walked forward with a smile on his face, his cane tapping away on the broken stones.

When the Horde saw the shield break they ran or flew or slithered or shambled faster, rushing forward in a frenzied mob of nightmares. They braced themselves expecting a final massive counterattack of everything in Wonderworld's arsenal or at least Cornelius piloting a giant death robot or something. Because of this, great was their surprise when instead they simply saw Dr. Wondertainment himself practically skipping down the remains of a road next to a mostly melted "Welcome To Wonderworld" sign and waving hello. The horde came to a sudden stop, practically tripping over each other in confusion as Cornelius walked right into the midst of them. He found himself surrounded on all sides by tentacles, claws, burning red eyes and worse as he stepped confidently into the midst of the Horde. Some nightmares struck at him but were repelled by his personal shield. Most just stared in confusion.

"Hello, good sir." Cornelius said shaking the thorned tentacle of one monster.

"You as well fine miss." He said as he stepped around a mobile mass of human body parts. He continued walking deeper into hell and the monstrous servants of the Scarlet King backed up in confusion. Speaking of which…

"Hey, did any of you see the King?" Cornelius yelled out, trying to make himself heard over the gibbering coming from the Horde. "Where's the Scarlet King?" Cornelius scanned the crowd but didn't see him.

"Is he here? Can someone send for him? We have some things we must discuss before he kills me and all that unpleasantness." Nothing spoke, he did hear some growls though.

"Did you hear me? I need to see the king." Cornelius felt a sickness creep over him. The sky turned redder, the earth shook and the small amount of unburnt foilage around Wonderworld yellowed and died as the Scarlet King appeared hovering over the Horde. He wasn't as big as Cornelius had expected, being only seven feet tall. He had the same bipedal body shape as a human but the similarities ended there. His skin was the black color of a burnt corpse, his hands were gnarled claws, he was anorexically thin and two great antlers swept behind his head. He had no facial features other than many, many glowing eyes and he wore a blood red military uniform the front of which was covered in medals and rank markers. Red light glowed around him, it was so bright several nightmares were near blinded and shied away raising their arms or tentacles to block it.

"Cornelius?" The Scarlet King said while landing on the broken ground in front of the toymaker.

"Yes, that is me! Good to see you again old friend." Cornelius's left hand was clutched in a fist. The Scarlet King tried to read his mind but was rebuffed by his psychic defences.

"… What is this? You know that I'm here to kill you." The Scarlet King asked. The various nightmares surrounding them drew slightly closer.

"Oh, it's fine my dear. What's a little murder between close friends? I just wanted to congratulate you." Cornelius turned around and swept his arm out at the Horde. "I'm impressed how far you've come from such humble beginnings. I should have known that you'd put me out of business one day." Cornelius laughed. The Scarlet King took a confused step towards him but Cornelius jumped back bumping into a slug-like horror then jumped another direction.

"I guess there's nothing left to say except job well done!" Cornelius gave a quick bow at the waist while wiping slime off his coat with the back of his hand. "I am perfectally fine with this outcome. I lived the life I always wanted and have a daughter who can carry the torch when I'm gone! What more could a man-shaped anomalous capitalistic entity ask for?"

"What are you saying Cornelius?" The Scarlet King stared at him. "Even you can't stop what's coming." He pointed a finger up towards the sky. The dark shapes above them were getting closer, having passed the orbit of the moon. "Unless…"

"Now, having lived my dream I am well prepared to retire, except, that actually I still have one wish for my life that I have never been able to complete. Until now." The Scarlet King raised his hand and dark objects as vast as skyscrapers, mountains, planets drew nearer, slowly spiralling down towards Wonderworld.

"When I was a child I told my father I had two dreams: to be CEO of a morally ambiguous capitalist construct…" Cornelius's life flashed before his eyes. At least he assumed it was his life. Even he didn't know where he was actually from anymore given how often the Horror Writers changed everything about him. The Scarlet King noticed a small motion as Cornelius moved his thumb revealing a detonator in his hand. From the burning black throat of The Scarlet King that had swallowed the souls of the greatest heroes in the worlds came two words that shook earth and heaven alike and could have killed normal men.

"Oh shit."

"… And to go out with a bang." The Scarlet King reached for the toymaker's throat, but Cornelius slammed the button on his detonator triggering the thirteen modified Little Big Banger Pocket Editions sewn into his vest. The Scarlet King, who was suddenly struck by the incredibly powerful desire to be literally anywhere else in the multiverse, disappeared just as the space around Cornelius collapsed into a singularity. Immense horrors as vast as worlds swooped down only to be vaporized by the edge of a newly birthed universe. Wonderworld, Cornelius and the Horde alike were obliterated near instantly as the new universe materialized then inflated to infinity. In 800 million years sapient life would evolve in new young galaxies. None of them would ever know Dr. Wondertainment's name.


In the Abyss outside the multiverse the Scarlet King floated and observed the birth of a new reality. He watched the process for some time before turning to leave in disinterest. The loss of the Horde was unfortunate but survivable and he had other things to deal with at the time. Now that Cornelius was dead he knew his next step. He raised his hand and a sickly glowing Way out of the Abyss opened before him. The Scarlet King stepped through in search of Isabel and the Way slammed closed behind.

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