Dr. Roget's Personnel File

 

Hey nice it's an author page. I'm an Administrator here on the site. My main functions are writing an awful lot and occasionally having good ideas. I wrote the essays on the early history of the community as well.

I first joined the site in 2012, when I was 16. It heavily influences who I am now at 24. Having a creative outlet like we do here is wonderfully rewarding. It got me through my most difficult teenage years. I wrote most of Series II during that period of my life. You're welcome, Skippers.

That's a slight exaggeration. I've got around 150 SCP articles and almost 100 tales. Also quite a few other pages. I'm not writing at the same rate that I was once producing but I'm still at least semi-regularly contributing.

I'm also administrating on the Wanderers Library

Some of my favorite SCP articles I've written are:

SCP-122 - No More Monsters. My fiancé read this article before I met her and become a fan of my specific works. How wild is that? Also I got the name from an article which I really enjoyed at the time but was downvoted and deleted. The draft is still out there somewhere on the original sandbox, but it's some weird atomic vending machine and only shares a name.

SCP-213 - AntiMatter Parasite. This is my first rewrite and one of my earliest pieces of writing. I've continued tinkering with it over the years but it's holding up fairly well. Props to VAELynx for talking me out of taking away the parasite angle entirely. That was a bad idea that reflected my initial and bad approach to rewrites: Just strip out everything that was mad and re-adapt the existing material to compensate. I'm glad I didn't do it on this one, I've grown rather fond of it over the years. I wrote a tale about it called Daydreamin.

SCP-1507 - Pink Flamingos. My first article, I've tinkered with this one too over the years but the article people are reading today is functionally the same as when I first posted it. I can vividly remember how nervous I was feeling sitting at my grandparent's kitchen table after working up the nerve to post for the first time. You're only ever posting your first successful article once.

SCP-1833 - The Class of '76. This is the article which sprung the Class of '76 into being. I'm very proud of all the people who've contributed and enjoyed this little world over the years. It's never going to be a GoI or background page explaining what's the deal because I like preserving rabbit holes for people to stumble upon.

SCP-2489 - A Political Machine. If this isn't my best article, it's certainly up there.

SCP-3776 - Camp Nimrod. I've written a few articles touching on the themes here, but I feel as though it's done best in this piece.

SCP-4484 - StreamSavers. This is the most enjoyable writing process I've seen through in awhile. It's complete and it's fun and I just like it.

End Of Olympians Hub is something more people should read

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▸ More by this Author ◂

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Translations:

F.A.Q.

Personnel File and SCP Documentation Work Dossier

Photo of Dr. Roget at play at work.

Name: Dr. Ralph J. Roget

Security Clearance: Level 3

Position: Deputy Site Director

Current Location: Site-77

History: Dr. Roget has been a respected asset to Site-77 ever since he began working there, at the ripe old age of 16. For half a decade, he worked in clerical positions, until Director Gillespie felt he had proven himself, and promoted him. His new job involved the documentation of large numbers of Safe and Euclid objects, which he excelled at. Despite a reputation for immaturity, and rumors of nepotism, his position at Site-77 is very secure.

Known Relations: Director Gillespie(Grandmother), Stanley Gillespie(Grandfather, deceased), Agent Lis Boyd(Half-Sister), Dr. Robert J. Boyd(Half-Brother).

NOTE: Dr. Roget's name is not pronounced Rogay, Rogat, Rogain, Roggers, Reject, Ragazzo, Regret, rigrog, Rogizzle, Roger, Roarg, Riggy?, roy get, rogit, Rojét, torgeti, dodget, cocaine or Rights. Please do not use these pronounciations when referring to Dr. Roget
^{c'mon guys it isn't that hard}

SCP Documents Researched

1. SCP-001 Keter Duty
2. SCP-031 What is Love?
3. SCP-039 Proboscis Buttgineers(Collaboration with Mr. Wilt)
4. SCP-122 No More Monsters(Rewrite of "Lucid Nightlight" by Dr. Kondraki)
5. SCP-213 AntiMatter Parasite(Rewrite of "Anti-Matter Parasite by Daydreamin, Dr. Blast, and Agent NekoChris)
6. SCP-240 Breath-Powered Flying Machine(Rewrite of an article by the same name, written by Agent Spoon Of Evil)
7. SCP-332 The 1976 Kirk Lonwood High School Marching Band
8. SCP-375 Forever A-Loan(Rewrite of "Hungry Bank" by Dr. Kondraki)
9. SCP-396 And Suddenly, Chair(Rewrite of "Displacer Chair" by Dr. Kondraki)
10. SCP-474 ℞FM(Collaboration with jinjja)
11. SCP-496 A Sunken Relic(Rewrite of "A Sunken Statue" by Dr_Adams)
12. SCP-512 Anti-Gravity Umbrella(Rewrite of "Anti-Gravity Umbrella" by HK-016 in collaboration with Django Bridge)
13. SCP-570 Puppet Show Gloves!!!(Rewrite of "Puppeteer Gloves" by Dr. Kondraki)
14. SCP-574 The Dropera House(Rewrite of "The Drophouse" by Kurt Todlich)
15. SCP-629 Mr. Brass
16. SCP-633 Ghost In The Machine (Rewrite of Ghost In The Machine by Syka Bee)
17. SCP-643 Delicious Chocolates
18. SCP-649 A Matchbox Full of Winter(Rewrite of "A Matchbox Full of Winter" by AsmodeusDark)
19. SCP-703 Into The Closet(Rewrite of "Random Item Generator" by Brucy)
20. SCP-744 Assembly Required
21. SCP-761 Slightly Less Dangerous Trampoline(Rewrite of "Slightly More Dangerous Trampoline" by HK-016)
22. SCP-814 Sound of '76(Rewrite of "Antique Phonograph" by kabu, re-rewritten by Mr. Carbon as "Pure Tones")
23. SCP-821 Dixie Funland
24. SCP-864 Efficient Washbin(Rewrite of "Man-eating Washbin" by Agent Carriontrooper)
25. SCP-935 Ancient Playing Cards(Rewrite of Ancient Playing Cards by Bijhan)
26. SCP-941 Sick of Motion(Rewrite of Carsickness by Dr. Leicontis)
27. SCP-992 Gaia's Emissary(Rewrite of "Gaia's Emissary", written by an unknown author. Transferred to WikiDot from EditThis by far2 on July 26th, 2008)
28. SCP-1046 A House Without a Bedroom
29. SCP-1070 Re-Educational Software(Rewrite of "The Educational Game" by VWXYZ)
30. SCP-1178 Floating ICBM
31. SCP-1204 The Social Disease(Rewrite of "Clingy Transient" by Dr. Mayreder)
32. SCP-1277 Thirsty Cactus
33. SCP-1282 Reverse Were-Rabbit
34. SCP-1305 Cat Lure
35. SCP-1317 Factory Makeup
36. SCP-1328 51st State of Mind
37. SCP-1341 Jungle In a Jar
38. SCP-1362 The Cartographers' Guild
39. SCP-1407 DJ's Headphones
40. SCP-1413 Sportsball
41. SCP-1423 Summer of '76
42. SCP-1452 Terrible Home Additions
43. SCP-1494 Terminal Castaway
44. SCP-1498 Dial-A-Dream
45. SCP-1501 Every Penny Counts
46. SCP-1507 The Pink Flamingos
47. SCP-1508 Mikey's Chore
48. SCP-1513 Potted Pets
49. SCP-1526 Papers, Please
50. SCP-1528 Finished With Lies(Collaboration with Raymond Llama) with Experiment Log 1528
51. SCP-1559 Birdsoul In Your House
52. SCP-1571 Keeper of Treasures(Collaboration with Researcher Zyn)
53. SCP-1572 Root Map
54. SCP-1573 Kids These Days
55. SCP-1574 Searching…
56. SCP-1576 Edisonian Afterlife Communicator
57. SCP-1583 It Only Makes Us Stronger
58. SCP-1591 Fallen Star
59. SCP-1608 Yu-Kaing
60. SCP-1611 Guarded Apartment
61. SCP-1613 The Spoken Fool
62. SCP-1624 Heartworms
63. SCP-1628 Storage Tunnel #1812
64. SCP-1630 Human Food Pyramid
65. SCP-1636 The Principal Skinner
66. SCP-1651 Carnival Prize
67. SCP-1673 Friendly Graveyard
68. SCP-1683 Moonstuck Bedroom(Collaboration with Researcher Voct)
69. SCP-1684 Viral Realty
70. SCP-1699 Inferior Volcano
71. SCP-1712 An Unusual Occurrence On August 11th, 1959 (rewritten by Uncle Nicolini under the same title)
72. SCP-1723 Radio Intercepting Woman
73. SCP-1724 Soul Meter
74. SCP-1725 Servant Enhancements
75. SCP-1727 Auto-Heaven
76. SCP-1738 Phobia Sampler
77. SCP-1767 An Agent Of The Shark Punching Center(Collaboration with Dr. Veritas)
78. SCP-1796 TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS
79. SCP-1799 Mr. Laugh
80. SCP-1833 Class of '76
81. SCP-1837 Acid Mop
82. SCP-1841 So Much To See, So Much Unseen
83. SCP-1853 Performance Enhancer
84. SCP-1865 TaoTao(Collaboration with Dr. Mayreder)
85. SCP-1872 Vehicular Laser Pointer
86. SCP-1894 Crash Course Diet
87. SCP-1901 Elvis Lives
88. SCP-1908 Mr. Soap
89. SCP-1929 Down To Earth
90. SCP-1938 Dr. Wondertainment's Amaze-O Dive Tank
91. SCP-1957 Cleanliness
92. SCP-1967 Shortcuts
93. SCP-1976 Father and Son
94. SCP-1992 Indecisive Mobile Home(Collaboration with General Harland)
95. SCP-1996 Tourist Trap
96. SCP-2082 Elephas cryophilus
97. SCP-2083 Hoboken Bunion Emergency
98. SCP-2088 MC&D Center
99. SCP-2199 Out of the Frying Pan
100. SCP-2253 The Alcohol Republic
101. SCP-2281 Backseat Driver(Collaboration with Doctor Cimmerian)
102. SCP-2322 Being Shirley Gillespie
103. SCP-2379 Roach Motel
104. SCP-2407 Learned Helplessness(Collaboration with Agent Lament)
105. SCP-2444 Flea Circus
106. SCP-2489 A Political Machine
107. SCP-2507 A Web Of Cliques
108. SCP-2594 Extradimensional Waiting Room(Collaboration with Researcher LilyFlower)
109. SCP-2600 The Empty Box(Part of the SCP-2000 contest!)
110. SCP-2799 The Navigator(Collaboration with HammerMaiden)
111. SCP-2805 Disney On Ice
112. SCP-2848 Spite Taco (Rewritten by Agent Lament as "Leave It All Behind")
113. SCP-2849 Insect Hospital(Collaboration with Researcher Sirens)
114. SCP-2876 Dream A Little Dream
115. SCP-2895 Stingy
116. SCP-2969 Language Hoarder
117. SCP-3006 Twice The Number One
118. SCP-3245 Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your Health
119. SCP-3482 Nature Versus Naturalization(Collaboration with Dr. K. Stuff)
120. SCP-3535 Casus Lignum
121. SCP-3639 Whataboots
122. SCP-3746 🦀 MOM'S DEAD 🦀(collaboration with The Rounderhouse)
123. SCP-3792 Up In Smoke
124. SCP-3776 Camp Nimrod
125. SCP-3831 Can't Call Out
126. SCP-3861 Self-Reflection(Collaboration with jinjja)
127. SCP-4120 A Good Boy
128. SCP-4136 Uncle From Nintendo(Rewritten by Dr. Henderson as "uncle")
129. SCP-4326 Honeymooners
130. SCP-4367 What Are The Odds?(Collaboration with jinjja)
131. SCP-4480 The Snake Doctor(collaboration with Researcher Calvin)
132. SCP-4484 StreamSavers (Collaboration with jinjja)
133. SCP-4540 History, Together
134. SCP-4564 Butthole Surfers(Collaboration with Dr. Harrison Balthazaar)
135. SCP-4572 Trumpvoid
136. SCP-4658 Control Kink
137. SCP-4754 Dentistaurant
138. SCP-4697 Dropping Off The Kids
139. SCP-4956 Screaming at the Void(Collaboration with gigaslayer105)
140. SCP-4957 Cold, Turning Blue
141. SCP-5011 - Man of Steel(Collaboration with jinjja for the SCP-5000 Contest)
142. SCP-5200 - The Brown Box
143. SCP-5599 fish golf
144. SCP-5720 Astronomically Inclined Crane(Collaboration with Mr. Wilt)
145. SCP-5757 Curse of the Everglade(Collaboration with Caterer Tim "Tanhony" Hyne
146. SCP-5954 My Lord, I had forgot the Fart
147. SCP-1927-EX The Farnsworth Effect(Collaboration with Researcher Chevrolet)
148. SCP-2600-EX Furred Trout
149. SCP-600-CO A Super Cool Friend Watched My Plant
150. SCP-2600-CU The Cutest Little Thing
151. SCP-@#%&!-J - Titters The Talking Bird
152. SCP-015-J Just Really Misunderstood
153. SCP-025-J Liquid SCP Foundation
154. SCP-800-J American Football
155. SCP-1622-J No Object Class Whatsoever(Collaboration with Baron Von Silberescher)
156. SCP-1797-J - "GEORGE WASHINGTON ENTERTAINING A GENTLEMAN FRIEND WHILE PICKING HIS NOSE"(Collaboration with Researcher Corbette)
157. SCP-2600-J Bicycle Mafia
158. SCP-5200-J Just Say NO!!!
159. SCP-7007-J Subs Only!
160. SCP-7800-J The Five-Second Rule
161. SCP-8231-J Super Flying T-Rex(Collaboration with Researcher Corbette)
162. SCP-Jaguar-J Researcher Hutchin's Incredible Automobile

Other Creations

Canons Created

lolFoundation Hub Page

Groups of Interest Created

Oneiroi

Arcadia

Foundation Tales

Foundation Tales:

Tale	Rating	Comments	Created	Last Comment	Tags
New Technical Issues	232	212	22 Mar 2012 19:21	26 Apr 2020 20:49	collaboration joke researcher-rosen tale
The Swift Rise And Fall Of Technical Researcher David Rosen	81	7	01 Apr 2012 21:35	21 Mar 2020 20:59	researcher-rosen tale
Life and Death	31	6	02 May 2012 22:09	03 May 2012 02:19	mister tale
Don't Forget	123	30	01 Jun 2012 15:06	11 Feb 2019 22:07	tale
Decomm Anon	120	26	28 Jun 2012 06:51	26 Dec 2014 01:07	tale
The Day the Clown Cried	11	9	01 Jul 2012 05:03	14 Feb 2016 21:08	mister tale
Homeowners	42	8	02 Jul 2012 19:32	12 May 2013 05:40	tale
Transparent	45	11	02 Jul 2012 21:03	25 Aug 2018 12:36	dr-wondertainment mister tale
Letter from the North	30	9	07 Jul 2012 10:30	13 Dec 2012 09:07	tale
Diary of a Young Girl	251	57	10 Jul 2012 09:36	11 Sep 2019 00:53	tale
One Last Ride	24	16	18 Jul 2012 06:25	20 Jul 2012 00:04	tale
Warm Memories	10	6	22 Jul 2012 02:27	13 Dec 2012 09:11	tale
First Seed	43	15	10 Aug 2012 23:55	16 Aug 2012 12:37	chaos-insurgency tale
Individuality	77	15	20 Sep 2012 13:43	13 Dec 2012 09:17	tale
Obsession's Price	29	13	24 Sep 2012 01:19	27 Mar 2015 20:06	tale
The Last Word	27	24	21 Oct 2012 22:02	06 Nov 2012 08:26	doctor-vang hc2012 tale
Seasons Pass	68	18	29 Oct 2012 23:19	07 Nov 2012 05:38	tale
Olympia	40	12	13 Nov 2012 00:09	08 May 2016 01:08	olympia tale
Anomalous Incidents	58	15	28 Nov 2012 00:11	28 Nov 2012 23:43	doctor-roget tale
Timing	22	7	10 Dec 2012 05:44	07 Jul 2019 16:24	dr-wondertainment mister tale

page 1 of 6123456next »

Group of Interest Formats

Group of Interest Format:

Tale	Rating	Comments	Created	Last Comment	Tags
UIU File: 1948-019	42	8	06 Jul 2014 04:57	20 Mar 2020 15:12	goi2014 goi-format unusual-incidents-unit
Draft Proposal For Programme Arduinosis 9001	57	8	23 Feb 2016 20:31	09 Mar 2016 05:42	aiad broken-god goi-format manna-charitable-foundation mtf2016
ALEXYLVA PUBLICATION ARCHIVE - NEWSPRINT	75	21	04 Apr 2017 21:39	24 May 2019 10:04	alexylva goi-format oneiroi
#IsItWeirdThatIWantToFuckTheShark?	36	15	01 Jul 2019 03:55	29 Jul 2019 16:34	adult co-authored collab-con2019 goi-format oneiroi shark-punching-center
Ballad Of The Fifth Arcadian	40	2	01 Feb 2020 20:32	01 Feb 2020 23:18	arcadia fifthist goi-format

Essays

Essays:

Tale	Rating	Comments	Created	Last Comment	Tags
History Of The Universe: Part One	327	74	17 Feb 2013 21:37	23 Oct 2018 02:29	essay
Supplementary Material	21	4	17 Feb 2013 21:37	10 Aug 2013 12:37	essay
History Of The Universe Hub	62	55	17 Feb 2013 21:37	22 Oct 2019 23:57	essay hub
History Of The Universe: Part Two	231	39	24 Feb 2013 05:09	30 May 2019 04:40	essay
History Of The Universe: Part Three	221	43	03 Mar 2013 23:41	12 Jun 2016 03:17	essay
History Of The Universe: Part Four	209	39	24 Mar 2013 18:06	21 Apr 2015 12:07	essay
A Brief History Of SCP-RU	55	14	09 Oct 2013 11:38	10 Jan 2014 18:44	essay
A Brief History Of SCP-KO	43	16	30 Oct 2013 03:09	28 Mar 2018 15:53	essay
An Interview With "The Administrator"	147	10	12 Mar 2014 22:24	25 May 2016 10:41	essay
A Brief History Of Foundation RP	46	9	18 Mar 2014 00:08	28 Mar 2015 09:04	essay
History Of The Universe: Part Five	195	60	24 Apr 2014 04:03	12 Dec 2019 15:46	essay
Roget's SCP Writing Walkthrough	90	23	03 Feb 2017 20:43	30 Jan 2018 05:56	essay
Abolish The No Vote, Downvote Your Friends, and Other Musings	53	18	15 Apr 2020 01:52	25 Apr 2020 02:44	essay

Contest Entries

Contest Entries:

Halloween Contest:

The Last Word

New Year's Canon Contest:

Old Man In The Sea Canon

Five Questions:(Won!)

Children of Doubt

Time Contest:

Skipping Time

SCP-2000 Contest:

SCP-2600 - The Empty Box

Under-Appreciated Contest:

Bicycle Mafia In: Goodbye, Galaxy!(deleted)

GoI Contest:

• Unusual Incidents Unit Hub
  • Where's The Shadow Government When You Need Them?
  • Where Your Eyes Don't Go
  • UIU File 1948-019

Dystopia Contest

Basically said everything I had to say about a dystopian SCP world in lolFoundation

Reimagining Contest

Didn't finish entry on time, ended up becoming Document-017-1

Short Works Contest:

SCP-2696 - Till Death Do Us Part(deleted)

Mobile Task Force Contest(Team Won!)

Draft Proposal For Programme Arduinosis 9001

April Fool's Contest!

Didn't enter, but It's Not Pronounced Like the Thesaurus, Dammit! was a winning entry!

Twice The Number One my SCP-3000 contest entry.

Documents inherited from Researcher Corbette

http://www.scp-wiki.net/salman-corbette-personnel-file

SCP-909 - Mr. Forgetful (With assistance from Dr. Bridge)
SCP-905 - Mr. Chameleon (With assistance from Dr. Bridge)
SCP-913 - Mr. Hungry (With assistance from Dr. Bridge)
SCP-532 - Frost Bug
SCP-920 - Mr. Lost
SCP-491 - Wrecking Light
SCP-534 - Misplaced Blood
SCP-1051 - Nevadan Extraterrestrial
SCP-969 - █████ Brand Mosquito Repellent
SCP-839 - CANDIED WORMS
SCP-851 - Lullabugs
SCP-1887 - Quantum Mechanics
SCP-1515 - Wallaby Wannabes (In collaboration with Dr. Mayreder)
SCP-1545 - Larry the Loving Llama
SCP-1642 - Dr. Wondertainment®'s Insta-teen Tablets™
SCP-1839 - Reproductive Methods of Bony Fish
SCP-1763 - Found Space Theatre
SCP-1292 - Contagious Scantron Disease
SCP-1486 - "Benny"

SCP-1914-J - Silencing Piano
SCP-1000-J - Old Wive's Town
SCP-727-J - Malevolent Celestial Object
SCP-682-J - THE BESTEST LIZERD EVER (In collaboration with Dr. Mayreder)
SCP-808-J - The Lost Treasure of Captain Blue's Island
SCP-2000-J - Dunky the Funky Werecat 2000: Werecat Strikes Back (In collaboration with Tanhony)
SCP-006-J - WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING
SCP-123-J - Amazing Butter-like Substance
SCP-1234-J - An SCP
SCP-031-J - Evening of Terrors
SCP-111-J - An Innocent Suburban Household
SCP-789-J - the butt ghost!!
SCP-078-J - Cooties
SCP-5972-J - Kirby Company Vacuum Cleaner
SCP-1922-J - Pathetic System of American Pigs
SCP-999-J - Creepy Speedo Guy (With NamedAfterColour and Mr. Wilt)
SCP-329-J - The Ghooooost Siiiiiign
SCP-1201-J - That One Movie

SCP-K9-J-EX - The Haunted House

SCP-711-EX - Man from the Future Present
Snuggle, Cuddle, and Protect: The Mean Dragon
Proposal 682-356
A Few Memos - A few memos from the inbox of President Mortimer Phillips
Rex Sponge's Revealing Revelations - There is no canon
Gears's Birthday Special: Unpalatable
Jargon - What it says on the tin
Recording Stuff or Whatever - An orientation
A.S.S. and Other Low-threat Groups of Interest - The less-than-successful GOIs
Reptilius - On the Philosophy of Man-eating Reptiles
Where They All Go - Did you wave goodbye?
The Completely Canonical Story of James, Age 8 - An April fools joke you'll NEVER SEE COMING unless you scroll down
The Doc Block - Sometimes two beings are just made for each other
We Interrupt this Program - Introducing the amazing Shelf-and-a-half!
Total Recall - When the Foundation fails to spring into action
Cleaning Larry - Ew
An Excerpt from Goodbye Ghost - Butt Why?

Documents designated to Research Assistant Corbette by Mr. Wilt Antwerp:

Articles

• SCP-039 - Proboscis Engineers (with the assistance of Dr. Roget)
• SCP-100 - "Jamaican Joe's Junkyard Jubilee"
• SCP-121 - Concrete Cradle
• SCP-720 - Astronomically-inclined Crane (with the assistance of Dr. Roget)
• SCP-1358 - Northern Lights
• SCP-1269 - Stalker Mailbox
• SCP-1662 - Paupers' Post

Rewrites

• SCP-323 - Wendigo Skull
• SCP-392 - The Quark Degenerator (In Need Of New Rewrite)

Tales

• Shadow in the Wake
  • Interlude - Drift
• As Time Draws Near

Documents inherited from Doctor September

http://www.scp-wiki.net/dr-septembers-file

SCP-1365 - Bike Justice
SCP-1395 - Cave Apparition (First Successful SCP)
SCP-1485 - The Ordinary Dimension
SCP-1565 - Martian Turtles
SCP-1665 - 8 Across, 18 Across
SCP-1775 - Retail Specters
SCP-1835 - Rupertian Zeppelins
SCP-1925 - Dearest Caroline
SCP-1955 - Spleen Eaters From Venus!

SCP-1994-J - THE BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL

Document Inherited From Professor Nyehcat

Gotham's Strangest Criminal

Contribution from Dr. Vang

Mister Laugh's my favorite toy
Wondertainment's pride and joy
Third upon my Misters list
Always making verbal twists
Every word's a private joke
Bust my gut until it's broke
Many toys abound his person
But alas, his mood does worsen

He remains hilarious
But, I want gregarious
Happy's how a clown should be
This one's just not right to me
Maybe when I chuckle less
Then, I'll start to acquiesce
Mister Laugh thinks he should go
But he's still funny, don't you know

When the money's getting tight
When I really feel its bite
I'll go, he'll go with me too
To the circus or the zoo
And I'll show his witty jests
To the crowds of eager guests
Oh, this plan will make me rich
At the door is- son of a bitch…

Author Living Will

• Rewrites: If I'm not around and one of my SCP's hits below +5, it can be rewritten by another member of staff, or someone whom staff deems able to do the rewrite. If possible, I'd like copies of my deleted stuff to be saved, although if I vanish for an extended period of time I won't burden y'all with holding onto my shit. Voct specifically has permission to update and edit my articles anytime he likes, except for A Political Machine and Shortcuts.

• Merchandising: As long as I'm attributed, anyone can make anything with my stuff.

• Reclaiming Authorship: Well, several members of staff know who I am and what I look like, so they'd be able to recognize me. Moose knows what my current email is, Scantron follows me on twitter and on youtube. If all that fails, Reject, Scantron, thedeadlymoose, TroyL, Kens, and Drewbear have my phone number.

• Other: Anyone has my permission to use my stuff however they please. Tales, references in SCP's, using 'em in games, videos, whatever. As long as I'm credited, you can go nuts.

SCP Commentary

SCP-1507

This was my first article that succeeded. I'd just had an SCP bomb, and was trying to find something I knew well so that I could write from the heart. I looked up from my then-desk and saw one of my mothers pink flamingos staring at me from outside. I thought "oh, that's make for a cool article" and wrote it. I got the assistance of MisterBibs, who will always have my eternal thanks for assisting me with my first SCP article. If it weren't for his guidance, I wouldn't be where I am today.

SCP-5200-J

Basically, I had an idea at school for a "JUST SAY NO" -J. I came home and started working on it, and stopped shortly into the description. I posted in chat saying "how does it look so far?". Salman Corbette happened to be there, and he thought it was hilarious. He then demanded that I post it immediately. So I did. After 10 minutes of work, I had a successful -J.

SCP-2600-EX

This one came from dexanote posting the furred trout myth in the batcave, and telling someone to make it into an SCP. At the time, I was going to a vacation in west virginia, and the car ride was boring me to tears. SO I pulled out my phone and started writig it. It took about seven hours, and is the only thing I've ever written only on a phone. The original version had some weird dialog, buty I've had help with it. I'm very proud of the current version.

Also, the numbers for SCP-2600-EX and 5200-J come from the atari consoles.

SCP-1799

This is my most popular SCP, and one I'm always very proud of. It basically came about because I'd been talking to Sal after the making of 5200-J, and asked if I could make a mister. After looking over the list, I decided on Mister Laugh, mostly because he seemed like the most obvious candidate for physical appearance: a clown. After reading the other misters, and the mister collector tale, I made him into what he is today. He quickly became very successful and is currently my highest rated SCP.

SCP-703

This one is a rewrite of the old "random item generator", which was basically just a closet that made random stuff appear. I'd always liked it, so I volunteered for a rewrite. Now, I've always thought that the best rewrites use the original article as a jumping off point for something entirely new. After pondering for awhile, I decided that a closet would logically only want to help you. Oh, and in the incident, the blackboxed SCP is SCP-643

SCP-1046

Well, when I was a kid, I had a very active imagination, and would make little characters and stories for myself with tetrahedron blocks. One of these characters was "Mister Messy", a guy who would integrate himself into walls as his superpower or whatever. Eventually I forgot about it, until I started thinking back to my childhood for SCP ideas. I remembered Mister Messy, and thought that it was actually kind of horrifying, being made part of a house. So I changed it to be less of a super power and bring out more of the visceral horror inherit in the original idea, and that's how I came up with SCP-1046.

SCP-2600-J

GeneralHarland gave me an idea for an SCP that was a haunted intersection where a kid on a bike got hit. I was stuck on it, until Sal came along in chat and thought I was talking about a -J article. We started riffing on it, and it became a joke article within a few hours.

SCP-2600

I've wanted to get this SCP number for years and years. Ever since I started writing seriously for the Foundation. When the contest came around, I couldn't think of anything, and started writing any science fiction concept I could get. That ended up becoming SCP-2082. I eventually got the idea of doing a mashup of MK-Ultra, Polybius, and about a half dozen other urban legends. The ending result is an SCP which doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but has a lot of interesting details and raises a lot of questions. I'd go through and clean it up, but it's at a stable rating and frankly I'm not sure what's going on and I don't know if editing stuff would make it better or ruin it forever.

SCP-2082

I wrote this because mammoths are cool, and I also wanted the 2082 number to involve something vaguely involving stuff from the past because of there's a They Might Be Giants song kind of like that called "2082".

SCP-821

I got the idea for this after reading "Dixie Before Disney" and wanting to talk about the history of Florida amusement parks in the context of an SCP.

SCP-992

The central conceit behind this was that, in the original article we didn't really have a clear idea of how anomalous the guy was. So I wanted to have this playful idea in the article, about how anomalous this guy is. Does he really do and know everything he claims, or is he full of it? In my mind, he's full of it, but not as much as he(or the Foundation) thinks. He's got untapped potential, and he's pretty young fellow in the prophet game.