Dr. Incandenza (a.k.a. "The Mad Stork")
Director of Computational Xenolinguistics
Security Class: 4
Duties: Lead researcher & investigator for anomalies related to written language, including communicative AI, extraterrestrial writing, paranormal entity communication, mimetic viruses, and (above all) ███ ████ ██ █████████.
H.R. Note: Dr. Incandenza does not speak any terrestrial/natural language other than English and Latin. He has been warned that he must learn another more widely used terrestrial/natural language within the next quarter, or risk immediate demotion to D-class. Incandenza has also been informed that computer code is NOT a terrestrial/natural language.
Dr. Incandenza is not a poet, and will become visibly upset if anyone refers to him as such. To date, he has received seven (7) demerits for unprofessional behavior and (at least) one (1) formal censure from O5 command.
Incandenza was recruited to join the Foundation in 2009 after working as a research assistant to Professor N███ C██████ at the █████████████ █████████ ██ ██████████ from eary 2006 to late 2008. Professor C██████ has later referred to Dr. Incandenza as "that loquacious idiot" and "a dangerous propagandist in deep denial about his true insidious nature." Dr. Incandenza has repeatedly denied that he is a propagandist, despite working on the campaign of then-███████ ██████ █████, who later became █████████ of ███ ██████ ██████ — Dr. Incandenza served as the lead communication coordinator for R██████████ for O████, which was believed to have played a decisive role in █████'s victory over deep cover Foundation Agent █████ █████ in the 2008 ██ ████████████ election.
Dr. Incandenza claims he earned his nickname ("The Mad Stork") in college due to his avian facial features. In reality, it is well known that Incandenza stole his entire identity from a fictional character in the book I███████ J███ by D████ F█████ W██████. His motive in doing so remains unclear to this day.
In 2012, after research (codeword clearance required — see: November-77) that lead to a breakthrough discovery w/r/t SCP-1875, Dr. Incandenza was promoted to Director in a surprising decision by O5-█, who several months later was convicted for ████ ██████ and ███████ by an impartial investigation committee and subsequently ██████████ by unanimous vote of the O5 council. As a result, Dr. Incandenza remains under close watch by O5 command, and formal investigations remain pending.
In his spare time, Dr. Incandenza makes cut-up poetry in the style of William S. Burroughs. He also plays chess, although he has yet to achieve an official rating above 1900.
SCP-1875 - Antique Chess Computer
SCP-1343 - Pile Up
SCP-2626 - Large Format Camera
SCP-2334 - Every Possible Photograph