The Based God
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To our friends at Indiana Limestone, best wishes for 1935!

Jupiter has offered us that chance. I suggest we take it.

Proceeds all go to the Xlan'gthmr R'llnmerg Foundation for Underprivileged Youth. Really great cause.

NO CHANCE OF GETTING STUCK IN THROATS

I need teeth, Yelkov. I pray you will be able to deliver them to me.

Can't wait to get started. You'll know when we're done.

The team leader reported that SCP-2464-3 would follow members of his team with its eyes…

Other discrepancies may exist

Either way. Better them than us.

Something foul that we dragged out of the sea. Something that should have stayed in the darkness forever.

Maybe you won't realize it [ILLEGIBLE] you probably will

On 05/14/1953, a Foundation front company, "Standard Products" released the "Super Coco Pows" breakfast cereal, which began marketing heavily towards children.

I did not know then. I do know now.

Do you believe that the Children of the Sun were the first to overthrow those who came before them?.

Not so fast, Foundation goons!

I don't care if you have to turn a hurricane on him, do it.

See now the devastation!

There's only so much that hate can build up in a place before it starts hating you back…

Ethical lines are blurred.

A debt is owed.

Bears in excessive number.

An unhealthy fixation is realized.

A sailor wages war.

The Foundation succumbs.

A computer finds efficiency.

A doorknob makes shitters very angry.

A leader fights for his country.

A son is forsaken.

A family seeks providence.

It's just a fish head.

A man seeks petty revenge.

Something is missing.

A bad gun is tested.

MTF Contest 2016 1st Place
you're fucked now, mann

That wasn't a Church artifact, Johnny.

You're Death, too.

And the dark changes people.

feat. Cyantreuse
I'm almost there again, just let me be alone.

feat. Joreth and A Random Day / SCP-3000 Contest 1st Place
—and only the eel remains.

feat. Doctor Cimmerian
Come on, man, you know I'm good for it.

feat. Faminepulse and Decibelles
heh heh heh warn u get triggr of peen gun.

We made it because, at the end of the day, we feel like you have the most interesting story to tell.

I taste blood and steel. YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK.

Maybe Vog was just the friends we made along the way.

I would very much enjoy the opportunity to intercourse with you sexually, Eleanora.

No patient is very well now yes I am the cure.

I see him. A man at a keyboard. He’s watching this right now.

But fuck, I’m still a soldier. I still have to try. It’s fucking Christmas.

feat. Doctor Cimmerian, Zhange, and VolgunStrife
There is much to do, and Rome must burn.

Only seven living individuals are permitted access to this file.

I- (pauses) I’m- (pauses) it’s everywhe-

u need 2 learn 2 trust dado.

no it ok. these better than vagro. u trust dado.

feat. Doctor Cimmerian
A nightmare festers in the field.

feat. The Great Hippo
The corpse of a woman with a broken neck was recovered nearby.

feat. Gabriel Jade
Oh doctor, I wouldn't be so sure.

Yes, considerable waste blow out the poop chute clean it all out yes.

It is the only way out.

Jack's bout as much daddy as they've had.

A tall, black, wooden box rests against the back wall.

Look Ms. Lady. I made a TV.

Cartoon women. False bravado. Manufactured masculinity.

Feat. Jekeled and minmin
Foxes are known to eat tongues. Did you know that?

(Pauses) Oh, shit. I guess not, huh?

SCP-4000 Contest 2nd Place
Uncle Pointy am are being SEVERAL unwelcomeds…

I never knew my grandfather

Come on now, Tim. Let's not make a scene in front of the kids.

Made me think we might get through this. Made it a little better.

We've confirmed what we feared. They don't know it, but they've found her.

There is no good. There is no evil.

We need to bury this, Isaac.

You are fleeting creatures with fleeting existences, you do not understand what it is to feel pain.

Sweetling, you're so kind. So kind to me.

Alright, look, yes, this was maybe not my best move.

None will escape the hunger inside me.

Little words in there, in the song, to let me know how much everything hates me.

There was no "The Maze". Just "The Maze 2". This is the sort of shit I'm talking about.

The exterior of the door is marked with the word "WITCH" written in charcoal.

How do you kill a god?


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I’m really never far from a mobile satellite / Unless I’m in Proxima Centauri for the night.

It was the Book of Dave, it was the Book of Dave!

McKinney, come on. You've read my reports, haven’t you?

Have you ever seen God, Clyde?

I’m out here dancing with the stars…

Morgan looked up, then at his friends, and together they left for the next gig.

Goodbye, Karlyle.

Welcome back, sports fans!

…no feat of engineering could put fire in those fingertips.

Fear alone is all that it ever required.

It would appear, sir, that our foe is far more formidable than we had anticipated.

Deep below Site-81, in a / secure bunker, a red box sat open / on the floor.

In the face of mountains, you are only a man, Jean.

You want me to do what to that penguin?

It would not necessarily be for Site-81, I am afraid.

You were right about there being less kind monsters in the world than Able, Liar.

Bet you've never seen anything like me before, have you?

Is it humanity we're protecting, or the Masquerade?

SCP Foundation Bloomington Research and Containment Facility

You have a hard time remembering things anymore. You wonder why.

What are you going to do?

We could’ve at least tickled them with the fucking tip.

Why, I’m Vincenti Andersopolis, at your service.

I'm here to do two things, Cron. Win football games, and win fucking football games.

…there was never any mercy to give.

for we planted the lilacs too late / to survive winter.

You know what this is, don’t you?

A week ago, the earth shook beneath our feet.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

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A football story in nine parts.

A story about fear.

The Official Unofficial Podcast of the SCP Foundation

This Was Fun Once, Wasn't It?

We may just go where no one's been.



Translator? Go check out this guide for .pdf templates for my header images.

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