Cack Hub
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Bitchin poster made by WydnessWydness


looking for pattern screamers, are we? Fuck off, pal.

What's this?

The cack hard cinematic universe is home to a bunch of dumb stupid stuff, mostly weird crack fiction. Cack fiction, if you will. This is a world where things always take a turn for the stupid, farcical, and idiotic. This isn't a canon, but simply a hub to host crackfiction too stupid for LolFoundation.

Hidden in this collapsible are the general 'rules' which we adhere to when writing within the cack hard cinematic universe. If for whatever reason you want to write crack.


crack fic? More like cack fic!

Home to shameful crack fiction which truly, bluely should not have seen the light of day!
Includes such bar-lowering classics as:



SCP Name Author
SCP-3472-J In time, you will come to hate me. UraniumEmpireUraniumEmpire
SCP-4491 "pulp ficktion" Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade
SCP-4498 The Plurality of Jack Bright djkaktusdjkaktus
SCP-4952 PlayerUnknown's Robert Frost UraniumEmpireUraniumEmpire
SCP-4852 Site-19 Goes South For The Winter! RounderhouseRounderhouse



Tale Author(s)
Cack Hard Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Cack Hard 2: Revengeance : Reloaded Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Boiled, Scrambled, and Fried WydnessWydness
Let me cure her, daddy WydnessWydness
Seven Days with Mr. Fish Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Cured Hams Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Classy Carlos Goes To Therapy Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Moon Champion's Cinco de Mayo Extravaganza Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: A Play in Two Acts Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade
"A Tale Of Petty Revenge" or, "Dr. Cimmerian microwaves a slice of unwrapped Kraft American Singles in the Site-19 break room for two minutes" WydnessWydness and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Mobile Toddler Force RockTeethMothEyesRockTeethMothEyes
S&C Paper Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
(Not The) Foundation Fight Club Ellie3Ellie3
SCP-ide Ellie3Ellie3
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring... AyersAyers
Words of Wisdom from the Containment Chamber of SCP-046-ARC, better known as Richard "Big Dick" Chappell RounderhouseRounderhouse
An Agent, A Cadet, A D-Class and A Janitor Walk Into The Sunlight. Doctor NorthDoctor North
Why Clef Hates Cupcakes Doctor NorthDoctor North and pieiswrongpieiswrong
Stupid Cupid pieiswrongpieiswrong
Gamers Against Creativity plaguebearerplaguebearer
"Is bad luck really such a crime?" asked the mouse to the cat. Ellie3Ellie3



GoI Formats Author(s)
Critter Profile: Wobbles! Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini and DrAnnoyingDogDrAnnoyingDog
The Corncrake of Destiny Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Project Kōza, 1942 Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini

what the people are saying

"Fuckin' bottledick became a canon. The bar has now burrowed into the ground"
- WerylliumWeryllium

"That verse rolled out the red carpet for Kanye's long-awaited album, but it doubled as an announcement of Chance's new Coloring Book (then given the working title Chance 3), which may very well be the most eagerly-anticipated hip-hop project this year that doesn't come attached to an actual record label."
- Pitchfork

"In a time of social fragmentation, vulgarity becomes a way of life. To be shocking becomes more important - and often more profitable - than to be civil or creative or truly original."
- Al Gore

"This is easily the worst thing I have ever read. Its obnoxious to the point of insanity. You should be ashamed of yourself."
- SecretCrowSecretCrow

"meh."
- AdminBrightAdminBright

"'You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take'
- Wayne Gretzky"
- Michael Scott

"Okay, April Fools is over, you can take the hub down now."
- A Random DayA Random Day

"i still hear dr. spanko in my nightmares"
- morhadowmorhadow

"You know, I was going to post this back in February but I figured April 1st would be a good time to actually post a hub for crack fiction."
- Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini

Are you sold yet?
No?
Well, that's fine, go ahead and slam that downvote button. The rating module is right here, coward!

rating: +103+x


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And thats all I wrote.
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