I don't know why I agreed to participate in the experiment. It was a Keter, a bloody Keter! You don't come out of those alive! Well, perhaps I shouldn't say that. After all, I survived its attack, and I'm alive… though I wouldn't really call this life.
It sounds cliched, but nobody knows what real darkness is. To most, the dark is a lack of light, what happens when the sun goes down, or when the power goes out. To them, darkness can be unnerving, almost frightening to some, but within it, there is always something else there. Something tangible.
For me, the darkness is everything and nothing. It surrounds me, engulfs me, yet no matter where I look, or how far out I reach, there's never anything to find. It's as if it's made of blackness.
Back when I was free, I was flipping through my dictionary one day. According to it, "black" is the total absence of color. Bearing that in mind, this place has to be made of it. No, not that. If it was just blackness, there'd be something to feel, since only the color would be gone. Instead, it's just pure… nothingness. Yeah. That word works. It's only black because there's nothing to give color.
I don't know how long I've been in here. There's no sense of time or space. Hard to have those when they don't exist. I'm just floating around in an oppressive nothingness. No, can't be "in" it; there'd need to be something here for me to be in it. Just… nothing. That's all.
It's a nightmare here. I don't belong. My body has substance, and I'm desperately trying to stave off that nothing from completely erasing me. It doesn't want me around. For now, I can fight back. It hurts like hell, but I can continue my existence.
But one day, I won't be strong enough. Even though I'm fighting against nothing at all, it's still stronger than me. One day, I'll fail, and it will get to me. And on that day, I'll be gone. Not dead, or lifeless, or anything else I could have been back home.
Just gone.
