Ambrose Thorn Valley
rating: +43+x

Ambrose Thorn Valley

rose-blush.jpg

Ambrose Thorn Valley is proud to celebrate our seventh year of operation!

As other civilizations crumbled under the weight of change, the Empire of the Rose has blossomed into a flourishing sarcoma of cultural and culinary innovation. Though the Imperial capital, New Kalmaktama, is closed to non-citizens, suburban Thorn Valley is known as a must-see destination for hardy survivors from around the globe. It has also become a burgeoning Nexus, ideal for the discerning Wanderer who wishes to experience the wonders of this deathless world.

In addition to most currencies, we may also accept blood and tissue samples or whole organisms in good condition. Our maitre d' will be pleased to assist with pricing and exchange rate inquiries.


Disclaimers

Advanced items, marked with a (+), are best suited for individuals well trained in fleshcarving. Guests who experience severe body damage and are unable to restore themselves will be provided with a complimentary blessing. Our standard blessing imposes a persistent vegetative state, which effectively negates both consciousness and sensation. Imperial citizens may wish to be returned to their liege to receive the blessing to which they are entitled by law. Please communicate your preference to your server prior to dining.

It is our policy to bless non-advanced menu items prior to preparation. We regret any inconvenience.


Annelida & Insecta


Bouquet Brulée
Seasonal selections of candied butterflies, suspended in agave worm jelly and topped with seared sugar. Guests may note a distinct floral odor exuding from their digestive orifices until digestion is complete.

Glacier Salad
A flavorful mélange of Alaskan ice worms, chili lime dusted crickets and honey-glazed chopped locust, suspended in a delicate lattice of ice which crumbles when touched.

Enhanced Ants
A childhood favorite of the Empress, these Earth-descended honey ants were reimagined by chefs of Kul-Manas. We've created a gentler strain suitable for any diner in robust health. Their naturally sweet, ruby-hued secretions intensify all pleasurable sensory perception for two to three hours per serving.1

(+) Mellifluous Worms
Imported from the furthest depths of the Pacific Ocean, these tube worms (Riftia pachyptila) are an inspiring embodiment of self-sacrifice in pursuit of personal strength. Adult tube worms anchor themselves near sulfurous vents, opening their bodies to infection by chemotrophic single-celled archaea. Served as a cluster of pale collagen stalks overflowing with flavorful archaea, surmounted with brilliant red plumes rich in unique, complex hemoglobins. Each stalk has been lightly enchanted to chime a different musical note during consumption.2


Chordata


Tres Sangres Gazpacho Surprise
An Imperial twist on a traditional cold vegetable soup, this light dish combines selachian, avian and ungulate blood, garnished with slivers of muscle tissue from each animal. Garnish may be served raw or cooked. Guests may experience temporary alterations in facial features or epidermis, inspired by one of the source animals for your meal!3

Ewe Fondue
Observe the life cycle of a popular and versatile mammal: the sheep! Gestation, birth, lactation, blessing, preparation and recycling are all presented in an enchanting dinner theater performance by our expert fleshcarvers.

(+) Foie Marron
Inspired by paté de foie gras, a delicacy made from the livers of geese which are force-fed rich cream to the point of functionality loss. Ambrose has replicated this process with the nectar of our own Enhanced Ants for a more intense and intoxicatingly delicious experience. Served with crumpets.

Twice-Blessed Hound Ragout
Grown in-house from humanity's most revered symbiote, the flesh most sacred to the Empire! Served with red wine tomato sauce and a purée of seasonal herbs.


Homo sapiens sapiens


Diplomat's Delight
Winning "hearts and minds" since our opening day! Pectoral and papillary cardiac muscles are enlarged to a hearty portion in our kitchens, marinated in garlic and sherry and pan-fried with topical selections of cerebral white matter sourced from the same body. Served with guest's choice of sweetmeat kebabs or lemon pepper risotto.

Empress Fried Children
Sectioned quadricep muscles from a tender assortment of juvenile humans, lightly breaded and extra rare. Marinated in a ginger-citrus reduction and served with balsamic drizzle. Fit for an Imperial palate!

Lesser "Imperial" Rose
We are proud to partner with Thorn Valley's own Ambassador-Volutaar Ail to present this unique item. A frequent visitor to the Imperial Garden, the Ambassador was recently honored with an invitation to contribute of their own person. An opportunity to engage with the fruits of their skill is a truly priceless opportunity for any connoisseur of flesh! They have crafted a functional replica of the Imperial Rose from choice genetic lines in their sibling-cluster's private collection. Gently smoked over hickory coals in our kitchen; optionally garnished with caramelized onion or habañero chutney.
(+) Available in its raw, living form upon request. Failure to control its potent immunosuppressive effects may result in bodily damage.

(+) Sedition Sashimi
These selections are sourced from condemned criminals, who were convicted of treason and incorporated unblessed into the Temple of Justice. Vicariously experience the eternal conscious torment for which this world is justly renowned!




MICHELIN GUIDE ONLINE

Powered by The Dark Web


★★★★☆
On my last visit, the Twice-Blessed Ragout was a bit disappointing. The sauce is so decadent one can barely taste the cancer.

While I'm pleased with the popularity of my Lesser Roses, it's a shame so few diners can appreciate them properly. Sarkic practitioners applying for Imperial citizenship, be sure to bring your Ambrose receipt to the embassy. We now accept successful Lesser Rose consumption as a skill reference!

~ Ambassador-Volutaar Ail

★★☆☆☆
Absolutely deplorable customer service. Refused to provide any unblessed meats other than those on the menu. How can I savor my meal, knowing they've been "blessed" into an unthinking, unfeeling coma?

Add sapiens sapiens foie marron and I'll give you the third star.

~ Prince Albert Philip Sandoval-Hapsburg VIII

★★★★☆
I make sure to stop at Ambrose Thorn Valley every time I'm in town. Diplomat's Delight is a regular favorite — they got an actual diplomat this time, I laughed out loud! Only giving four stars because one of the source meats for my "Fried Children" was at least fourteen. It was still excellent, but I rely on Ambrose to be accurate as well as delicious.

~ Karcist Nadya, Mortality Investigations, Alagadda Civic Police

★★★★★
Damn, those tube worms are spicy!

~ Chef "Gordo" Gorguzaal



Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License