Ambrose Temecula
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Document recovered from Location of Interest within Temecula, California after Operation "Delivery Service" that was previously owned by the Ambrose Restaurant. This document is preserved for use by MTF Lambda-14 ("One Star Reviewers") in their continuing efforts to combat this group of interest.

Ambrose

Starters
bluesoup
Seaside Super Shrimp:
Our shrimp are the largest in the city, without question! Order single shrimp of sizes 1/4 pound or 1/2 pound
$4.90
West Coast Wings:
Watch in delight as your serving of spicy wings literally fly out of the kitchen!
$4.30
Seance Soup:
Our famous blue soup can have you dining with your relatives, even if you've never seen them alive! Only one serving per person, ghost dining menu available on request.
$4.30
Temecula Slider Towers:
Enjoy this particular starter, and experience life without friction for the next half hour! (Ambrose is not responsible for any injuries sustained while not under the laws of friction.)
$4.75
Mains
potatowedges
A Healthy Salad:
It may look like a pile of warm veg, but thanks to innovations by a local anartist, it'll taste exactly like a cheeseburger!
$8.50
Singularity Salmon:
A large salmon dish, served with roasted potatoes and beans, that defies the laws of geometry!
$12.30
Omnipotent Potato Wedges:
Our deep fried wedges are superior to all other dishes, and will make that fact known! Any food placed on the plate with them will also become potato wedges!
$9.00
Gangster's Grub:
Become awestruck as the two halves of your meal fight for supremacy on your plate! The victor determines the flavour, never the same taste twice!
$7.00
Tint Taquito:
Change your hue for the duration of your meal with this delicious Mexican delight!
$11.00
Barbecue fish:
Carefully grilled piscomorph from one of at least three realities, depending on availability.
$7.00
Conceptual Curry:
This dish is the pure concept of a madras curry, zero calories, and entirely transparent! Ask your waiter to add it to another dish.
$6.00
Chef's Choice:
Changes weekly, ask your server!
$9.00
Desserts
Easter Frog's Eggs:
Rendered safe to eat by freezing and boiling, this delicious chocolate-like treat can be enjoyed year-round!
$4.60
Midnight Cotton Candy:
A dark treat, sure to tickle your insides! Exclusively available at all of our restaurants thanks to The Circus of the Disquieting, the Greatest Show in all the Worlds!
$3.39
Sunside Sugar Shack:
A sweet treat you're sure to enjoy, and it'll give you a sunny disposition as well!
$5.00
Mango Salsa:
Two fruits performing a Latin dance on your plate! Muy caliente!
$2.50


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Customer Reviews: Temecula

@AirConditionedLaurie
★★★★☆


Great place to eat with a good selection of food!

Good to finally have a place to eat that suits my more esoteric tastes. Great location too!

@Quarterporter
★★★★☆


I've spent a couple of enjoyable evenings here, the changing menu items are interesting, but I feel like using actual self-modifying menus would improve it a lot.

@fredazx1fn0q2rc
★★★☆☆


I didn't like the waiter's face.

@ready-to-freddie
★★★★★


The atmosphere is really down to earth, which is tricky to pull off with some of these menu items! Five stars!

@emptyjudith
★★☆☆☆


Food was good, but about half way through our meal some anophiliac ran at our table and tried to stuff his dick into our drinks.

@morecircularhome
★★★☆☆


Place was crawling with guards, I think there was some kind of incident recently? Managed to have an enjoyable enough meal, but I was constantly on edge.

@alarming_julius
★☆☆☆☆


If you ever want my custom again, you'll repair your draconian laws! If you refuse to serve me based on one unplanned incident than I will be forced to incite the Foundation upon your establishment.

@WannaJuana
★★★★★


I had a great meal with the family, everyone said their meals were excellent! I had the fish, and experienced flavors that don't exist in this world!

@cristina.the.arena
★★★★☆


There was a sale on, and the owner himself cooked for us! Only downside was the ongoing memetic outbreak in the city, but that's hardly this place's fault.

…It wasn't, right?

@FastandJiving
★★★☆☆


My mouth literally will not stop watering!

Seriously, how do you deal with runaway salivation?

@RhianneW-L14
★☆☆☆☆






Fuck you.

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