Ambrose: New New Jersey
rating: +9+x
blank.png



Cannibal Chin's


Ambrose New New Jersey




Disclaimer

Hexed items, flagged with [†] are best suited for undead or incorporeal guests. Complimentary warding salts are available upon request from either your server or at the front desk. If these salts prove insufficient, the front desk host may supply you with a coupon that can be exchanged for a free exorcism1.

Ambrose New New Jersey is not responsible for residual hauntings that take place outside of the property.

Meals
[†] This ain't ya grandma's soup Temporal Stew - Stew brewed in the Void below Cannibal Chin's. Consume to experience the temporary standstill of time itself. The Void existed before all creation, and thusly adheres to its own set of rules.

Spider Balls - Motza spun from the silk of the Agave Spider, found in the Devylwood. Cast into the fire to return to a more pleasant memory, and relive it for the second time. The Agave Spiders were hunted by poachers to near-extinction. The few that remain today bear hostilities on behalf of their ancestors.

Royal Encrustation - Crab rangoon, filled with cheese from the four Dairy Lords. This once magnificent dairy has lost much of its splendor, yet still continues to influence palettes ages after it passed into memory.

Drinks

Lemonade Urine this together - The profuse sweat of the Sinner. Drink hearitly to restore lost stamina and forget the experience afterward. A man was cast into the Void after rising against the Corporations. Now, he is only known as the Sinner.

Miracle Water - Liquid sapped from the Eldest Tree. Enhances latent magical abilities and lets one cast miracles for a short time. The Eldest Tree is one of the last remnants from a time long forgotten. It is no surprise that it has been extorted as well.

Spirits - The spirit of a lost adventurer who has met a terrible fate. Consume to gain the experiences of a warrior and continue their legacy in their stead, for a time. Adventures and rebellions come and go, but memories are forever.

Appetizers

Mr. Meaty's Mozzerella Mass Combat Sticks: - The still animate cheese from one of the Dairy Lords. Pick off the stragglers and bring an end to their suffering. The four Dairy Lords were bequethed the Tri-State Area by Reginold Carter after the fall of the old kingdom, though they were unable to resist succumbing to the Void.

Beefalo Wild Wings - The tender severed wings of an endangered creature found in the Devylwood, prepared by the Cook in an ancient rite. The Beefalo were legendary, once upon a time. But the time for beasts of old has faded into obscurity.

[†] Literally just a heart Essence of Man - Heart of the Sinner, reformed into steak. Why would you even consider eating this? Perhaps you need help. (Comes with your choice of: Coagulated blood vessels, blood rocks2, kidneys, finger fries, or lemon.)

Desserts

[†] Forsaken Pixels - Images stolen from the Digital Plane, twisted by the Cook in a hexed rite. The images are often considered as objects, but who gets to decide what is alive and what isn't? When the Void came, the Sinner tried to escape into the Digital Plane, but its denizens rejected him.

[†] A diced human soul Ghastly remains - Soul of the Sinner, sauteed in warding salts. The Sinner once ruled the establishment with an iron fist, until the Void came and usurped him.


★★★★★
The food was spectacular, the atmosphere was decadent. The kids got a hoot out of the Ghastly Remains and we ordered an extra one to go! The waitresses were all so nice and patient, especially when my son's hand fell off halfway through the meal. It's so hard to find places that are accepting of the undead.

Will definitely be dining here again.

-Willy P. Sherman

★★★
Yeah, the food was good but there was a lot of weird screaming coming from the basement? Would not recommend sitting near the bathrooms either. Some weird hand thing tried to nab my fork when it fell on the ground. Pretty sure it looked up my skirt too. Guess they'll let anyone work here, huh.
-Abby Walters

★★★★
What a time. Highly recommend the Beefalo Wild Wings and Spider Balls, fucking delicious they were. Can't remember what I had to drink tho

-Gem Ground


He might be immortal, but torture is torture. Fuck you and fuck your fancy-ass rich people bourgeoise paper straw loving, undead catering, soul-sucking establishment.

-Emilie Chin

★★
A lot of people were dead when I came in, but I figured that was part of the establishment cause everyone was eating them. :/ Disappointing. Bring this back and I’ll give a higher rating.
-Anon

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License