Agent Diogenes' Personnel File

Agent “Diogenes”

Security Clearance Level: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Occupation: Public Liaison and Media Control


Prior to becoming part of the Foundation’s personnel, Diogenes worked as a secretary under the United States Senator ██████. Diogenes attempted to blackmail Senator ██████, after discovering his correspondences with the Foundation concerning [DATA EXPUNGED]. The Foundation dissolved this affair by offering Diogenes two choices: to be [DATA EXPUNGED] or to take an occupation as a low-level caretaker of safe-SCPs. Diogenes accepted the second offer, but soon showed such incompetence in handling assigned SCPs (see Addendum) that O5 demanded s/he be placed in a different occupation.

Displaying skills in diplomacy, Diogenes was designated tasks as a public liaison. Diogenes spends a massive amount of time heckling other Foundation personnel with wishes that they not to make such horrible messes when in public, as s/he must clean up after them. As of this time, s/he has assisted in covering up incidents involving:



Due to a work accident, as well as the unauthorized practical joking of other personnel, Diogenes has come into contact with SCP-113 on multiple occasions. It has therefore become impossible to determine Diogenes’ gender, and s/he responds to inquiry with raised eyebrows. On a similar note, s/he responds to almost any inquiry from Dr. Bright with a suitable facepalm.

Note: Dr. Bright has requested the use of Diogenes as a personal assistant. Request still pending at this time, as we are unsure if we dislike Diogenes quite that much. -O5-6 Request approved. Apologies to Diogenes, but Dr. Bright knows where the bodies are buried. Some of them are his. -O5-6

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