AbsentmindedNihilist's Personnel File

AbsentmindedNihilist, or Niles for the lazy of fingers, is that irritating gay nerd who's always in chat.

Niles was raised by a family of Cambridge liberals who think Hillary doesn't go far enough Elizabeth Warren should have run for president she's the candidate we all deserve who disparage her for selling out by joining "Big Containment." They would have much rather she joined the Serpent's Hand, but they don't offer insurance that covers her vast array of psychopharmaceutical prescriptions.

She has been involved in the containment of SCP-2376, SCP-3240, SCP-2574, SCP-2952, SCP-810-J, SCP-729-J, SCP-2709, SCP-3807, SCP-2916, SCP-4698, SCP-2889, SCP-5832 and SCP-2547. Also included is the tale And Then It Was Morning depicting the slow and prolonged death of an adorable skip. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Drinking Game:

For the most authentic Niles experience, drink cream soda or iced tea from a flask instead of any real alcohol, but give no indication that it is not alcohol. Proceed to intimidate everyone else.

If an SCP that resembles one organism is genetically similar to another organism, take a sip.

If there's an excursion into a creepy forest, take two sips.

If a canine creature appears or is referenced, finish your drink.

Take two sips if characters indicate that they are not straight.

Finish your drink if there is cross species attraction.

Take a sip for an edgy title.

Take two sips for neuroscience geekery.

Take a shot for no use of [DATA EXPUNGED].

Take a shot for mythology references.

In case of emergency: if something happens to me and/or I can't be reached about a decision to be made regarding my articles - DrMagnus gets custody, followed by SoullessSingularity if he can't be reached.

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